“Purposeful engagement”- 17 September 2017.
Q. I am in class 12 right now, it is less than 4 months are left for my boards but whenever I sit lot of thoughts crosses my mind. They are more of my present life like friends and family. I’m able to overcome them for a while but after sometime they are back!
Ans. This is more like a symptom of worrying about the exams and not being able to concentrate on studies. When the attention and concentration gets affected due to worry symptoms like these occur. Cut down your social and family interactions and focus more on studies. Forget making and maintaining friends and think only of studies. Boost yourself/ego by positive thoughts about your studies and about making a good career in future. Meditate twice daily, relax the mind and believe in yourself. Get rid of worry and anxiety. Get your mind in control.
Q. I am from Wardha. I am in XII Std. I opted for science stream. I have a keen interest in music. I want to study sound engineering and become an audio engineer. As it is less pursued course, my parents doubt it. But I have confidence that I can shine but I am quite afraid. Please guide me madam.
Ans. There is no need to doubt your choice. It is a great career and it is true that few people opt for it. Your confidence and passion will take you miles and that is the most important thing. Your belief in yourself will give you the best success in your career. What is the point in doing a course which many are doing? It is important to be different and unique. That is wonderful indeed!
Q. I am in trouble due to my boyfriend. He seems to be losing his temper, nowadays, as he is not doing well in college. His parents are angry with him all the time. He keeps shouting at me and then keeps asking for sorry. I say it is okay but I am also getting angry nowadays. I feel like telling him to run away but he not leaving me and not behaving nicely. I am crying most times and don’t know what to do. Please help me.
Ans. His bad behaviour may have many reasons such as decline in academics, parental confrontations and the like. He seems to be in depression and counselling will help him overcome it. Tell him that you cannot help him much if he is in depression and that he would need professional help of a counsellor. You can support him till he undergoes the counselling sessions and then decide whether you want to maintain the relationship or not. Leaving him now may upset him further and it is advisable for you NOT to be his counsellor for that will stress you out and might affect you too with depression. So separate the two issues of depression and friendship and treat him first.
Q. My friends do not care for me these days. They don’t call me nor they ask after me. I am a retired person and have led a very happy and healthy life. I am a well qualified person and I lost my husband a few years ago. I feel very lonely and don’t know what to do. My son and daughter in law keep busy in their careers and though they love me they have no time for me. Do I need counselling? In what way I can change my life? I love my family a lot and want us to stay together.
Ans. Yes, many people in your situation might feel the way you are feeling. Losing one’s spouse, at any stage of life and more so after retirement when children are bust is a tough situation to be in. It is nice to know that you lead an active and healthy life and now have lost direction, so to say. It would be nice to explore the possibilities of being active in some ways, out of the home, and finding your bearings. Being at home alone is not a happy situation especially when you are not wanted by children. Get back to your colleagues, friends, old contacts and form a friendly group. Secondly, explore your mind for the type of work you would like to engage in, whether it is voluntary or paid, is immaterial. A session of counselling will help you find your way out in handling stress in creative ways and outlets. Keeping purposefully engaged is the best way to lead life.