“Break off the toxic relationship”- 18 December 2011

ABC, Karanja

Q.I am a lawyer but from last two years I am suffering from chronic procrastination. The things which can I do easily I am unable to do and I have developed a habit to postpone everything in my life. I am postponing all decisions from small to big like marriage also. I have adjourned so much cases which are so easy to handle it and also got the habit of to postponed work of daily routine. Due to this I am suffering from so much problems it affects my

economical and mental status and social relations with my clients. I have
got the habit that not to do the work till it will not become most urgent. Please advice me how to come out from this problem.
Ans. Consult a psychologist in your town or the nearest city. You might be suffering from depression or it might be some other problem which needs to be addressed. Mental health is very important for work satisfaction and happiness in life. Functioning at a lowered capacity is a symptom of psychological disturbance. Normally a person should be energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic. You state just the opposite that you procrastinate, suffer poor social relations and poor mental health. You must treat your condition as soon as possible. Do not delay it.


Q. The problem is my elder sister behaves extremely strange in her sleep. She sometimes makes strange painful voices, like something is tormenting her from inside. She babbles sometimes in her sleep, like-“please,don’t do this; no no;” in her sleep. And when I try to wake her up she is not able to open her eyes. Many times she tells me her dreams rather nightmares are horrific!  Well I don’t think she not under emotional stress but whatever happens with her in her sleep, she doesn’t remember it when she gets up. Like she is someone else in her sleep. My sister is very humble and kind by nature but she is rude in her sleep. Please help me madam I am really concerned about her.

Ans. A troubled unconscious can cause bad horrifying dreams. She may forget them on waking but they trouble her while asleep. If she is okay with her life you need not bother about it much. But it is normal for you to worry about her behaviour at night. Many people may have bad dreams and then forget them when they awake. But it is advisable to get a check up. Try suggesting to her to visit a psychologist at least once for her nightmares. She will benefit from the session and may want to continue the therapy. Many people resist therapy initially and then realise the benefits.


Q. I am in 10th std. A few months before I was in a relationship with a boy whom I loved so much. My family know all about us. They asked me to break all contact with him but I can’t do so. The main problem is that his friend told me that he has cheated me. When I asked him about it he says if I believe him I should stay with him. Otherwise I should break up. He does not give any explanation. If I speak with another guy he always asks me for an explanation and does not allow me to speak to them. His behaviour irritates me so much I cannot concentrate on my studies. That is why I broke all relation with him. But whenever I see him I cannot stop thinking about him and cannot concentrate on studies. Please tell me what to do?

Ans.  You have done the best thing by breaking off with your boy friend because he does not seem to be an honest and healthy person as you describe him. He seems to be dominating and dishonest. He has double standards, one for himself and another for you. Such people can be troublesome to live with. You may think about him and remember him but it is best to break off the friendship. Do not get back into the relationship. A bad relationship can negatively affect your mind and behaviour and can be a burden for life.

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