Q. I am a student of B.Sc 2nd year. My problem is that I have developed a fear of failure inside me. All my friends are doing engineering and I am doing just an ordinary graduation. So when I see my friends being placed in good companies, I get nervous. I start thinking that I have wasted my life. I always think that I will never have a good life and I am a failure and these thoughts are ruining my present. I would be very thankful if you provide me some help.
Ans. People make careers in any field and not only engineering. No profession is superior or inferior but do have their strengths and limitations. Some degrees fetch you jobs immediately and some take longer duration. But each person can makes a good career and lead a good creative life. Find out your strengths and weaknesses and plan your career well. You need to think through your career goals for the long run and short term too. This was you could progress step by step and be on firm ground. Banish all your anxieties and start thinking systematically. Come for guidance and counselling if necessary.
Q. I am an engineering student. I loved a girl from my class since my childhood but didn’t tell her. We used to be just friends. Last year after studying in different junior colleges from past two years I called her to meet me. We spent some good time then on our way back I just proposed her bluntly. I was very scared. You know first time; tough stuff. But she just dropped me on my destinations saying “I am speechless”. I messaged her that whatever her decision may be it doesn’t matters I just said what I was feeling, I always wants to be your friend” but no reply. One month later she replied asking me to continue friendship and I was happy but a month later she changed her number and now a year later she again contacted me. This time I just didn’t reply because she told about me to her friends and now even my friends know about this and make fun of me. Please guide me what should I do I just can’t forget her nor be with her even after 14 months. I can’t think of anybody else as a partner or whatsoever. I just love her even after that. I am still confused and hurt. I would be very thankful if you could guide me.
Ans. Yes, people can make a fool of themselves in love. It does not matter. You are still a young boy and have a long way to go. Be careful next time before you propose. Keep away from her and if she calls be formal and less friendly. Stick to your studies and do well. It is difficult to predict what her feelings are for you right now, but feelings do grow with time. She may begin to like you or just forget about you. Let her make the first move now. You did whatever you had to do and cannot do much now. Just let time take its’ own course. You should focus your energies on career building. Life is unpredictable really. Be optimistic however.
Q. I am an engineering student. Till school I was a bright student. I was district topper in talent search exam for two consecutive years in 9th and class 10th. But after class 11th my mind got deviated from studies. I don’t have any girlfriend neither I loved any girl but soon after class 11 some strange feelings began to develop inside me. My mind got deviated from studies and began to imagine about future. Since imagination is very optimistic so I really appreciated but soon it became my habit. When I took admission in engineering this continued and it hampered my studies and I was merely able to clear the papers. Now this thing is irritating me and I can’t do anything as my capacity. So what should I do to make my mind free as before so that I can perform again freely?
Ans. Your statements do not explain anything really. Just imagination does not hamper studies until and unless there are more types of diversions that are bothering you. You mention that your imagination is optimistic so why should it divert you from studies. You do mean to say that you indulge in excessive and unnecessary imagination? Please find out what is distracting your mind and then find solutions for it. Alternately, you could come for a session of counselling and we could help you diagnose the problem. The solution will naturally follow then.