Chaitanya (via email)
Q. I am a student in class 10 and at present I am in Bhilai. I like to play badminton a lot. My parents are too much concerned about my studies so during regular classes they don’t allow me to go to the hall. I assure them that I will give the same attention at studies then also they force to study. I want to move ahead in the game but by such a behaviour of my parents I think I won’t ever be able to fulfil my dream. Please advice what shall I do?
Ans. There could be two issues here- are your parents opposed to making a career in badminton because they do not see it as a worthwhile career or they oppose it because the financial costs involved are heavy. A third factor could be that they do not think that you have enough talent and motivation to pursue it seriously? If you would be happy pursuing badminton as a good hobby and not as a full time career then please do so. In such a situation your parents should allow you specific amount of time for playing the game, may be during weekends and not daily. Talk it out with him and negotiate with them. I am sure they will see reason and allow you.
Q. I am 19 yrs old girl currently doing BCA 2nd year. From last 2 years I have been working really hard but I am not able to clear my exams unfortunately. I am a good student and used to score really well in school but now I stand nowhere. Due to this continuous failure I am losing my interest in everything. I feel embarrassed in front of my friends and relatives. My behaviour has also changed. I get frustrated and angry at anyone very easily. My parents also think that I don’t study that’s why I am failing but the truth is that in Nagpur University every year more than 12000 students apply for exam and only 300 to 400 manage to pass. I think that I have taken a wrong decision by taking this BCA and wasted my valuable two years. Is there any fault in me? I sometimes feel to end my life. What is the problem with me because I can’t see my parents sad and angry at me? All reasons are killing me inside. Please help me.
Ans. I think you might have chosen the wrong course of study for which you may not a good aptitude. Every one cannot do every course of study. Each individual has different abilities and accordingly they should chose their careers. It would be sensible to get your aptitude assessment done and then make the right choice of course of study and career. I can help you with that. Failure takes its own toll in terms of mental and physical health besides the social embarrassment. The bigger loss is time, money and your sense of confidence. Success brings happiness and boosts self esteem. Therefore career planning is a serious issue. Do not despair and ask your parents to support you and to help you solve your problem. All the best.
Anonymous (via email)
Q. I am a 20 year old guy doing engineering in a reputed college. I think I lead a good life and happy times except for one thing. For the past 2-3 years I have been suffering from sudden physical drives. I have tried a lot to keep it in check but failed. I feel really bad and ashamed of myself so much so that I sometimes want to beat myself up. Please give me some advice to control this sick habit and get rid of it. Even any medicine will do.
Ans. You need to consult me as soon as possible. The reasons for your problems may be many and we could counsel you or else suggest medicines. But first I will need more details about the problem. Do not hesitate to seek help.
Published in The Hitavada – Emotions column – 25 April 2010