Q. I am a student of class 12 preparing for IITJEE. I want you to heal my issues. 1. Laziness 2. De-motivated and depressed through parents (exactly the same story of Q2 in your previous EMOTIONS blog). 3. Time Management. Almost 60 topics , 6 months and a lot of excessive backlog pressure. Really B.TECH from IIT only a way of succeeding for me. Truly I want to become a teacher but circumstances are tending to give me ENGG. tag. 4. The last and the most important, UNSTABILITY in my mind .This is the most affecting poison for me. After having good results in tests, I am really overwhelmed and fall in second test really heartbreakingly. 5. How to control my EGO? These are mine questions to you. Please try to mention these in your BLOG in THE HITAVADA.
Ans. You say that your main problem is that you are de-motivated and depressed due to your parent’s expectations and feel lazy and cannot manage your backlog due to paucity of time or bad time planning. About your statement about ‘IIT being the only way for succeeding for you’ is not your statement but that of your parents, I presume? For most parents in Nagpur feel that IIT engineering and medicine is the only two options for success in life for their children. This has become a fad and a trend and an unfortunate reality in this city due to the mushrooming of coaching centres aimed at these two professions only. They have influenced the minds of parents like no-body’s business and messed up the reality of life and living. The fact is that a degree is only a stepping stone to your vocation and calling in life. You must first know what interests you and what you can do with success and then decide the degree. We are catching the bull by its tail rather than its horns. This is an illogical logic that has crept into the minds of parents and taken roots. It is sheer nonsense. The number of students reporting with depression is caused by wrong choices of career (mostly being forced into engineering and medicine), leading to failure, loss of money, loss of years and loss of prestige and self esteem. If you like teaching, please go ahead and choose it as a great career. However you will need to choose a subject of preference for teaching in which you will specialise and attain degrees. You will also have to appear for the NET/SET examinations which are necessary for applying for teaching jobs in colleges. If you are want to teach in a school, then, the qualifying examination is B.ED. I hope you know the subject of choice and how you are going to proceed with your dreams. It is good to know what you like and what you want to do and it is equally important to have all the information about fulfilling your dreams. A session on career counselling will help you clear your doubts to take an informed decision. Get out of your inertia and get going with your dreams. It is your life and you have a right to lead it well with the choices you want to make. About your query on ‘ego’ it was unclear to me what you are searching for. Please make it more clear next time or when you come with an appointment with me. I wish you all the best.
Q. We were a group of 7 friends in college with some boys and some girls. All was nice and friendly. We went for picnics and movies and wanted to create something new in our life. We did social work and helped small children with education free of cost. We took regular classes and all were happy. Then the group broke up and we fought like mad and made angry insults at each other. One was a smoker and would take alcohol now and then –we tried to stop him and he would not. Another strange thing that happened was that two boys started liking one same girl and the girl got confused. She left the group after getting angry and lots of crying and stress. The boys fought badly and spoiled the group. I feel sad and lonely and depressed with my life. I feel lost and unhappy. Is there a way of re-joining the friends and being together? Please help me. I am losing my mind.
Ans. I would advise you to come for a session of counselling. You seem to be depressed and confused and lonely. That is a bad state of mind. I hope you are in touch with at least one or two of the friends from the broken group? Please keep in contact with them and even if it has become a smaller one, maintain whatever is left of it. The ones who have left will generally not come back and you should not pursue them anymore. I am sure you have done your best already. Such college groups and for that matter groups anywhere in the world undergo a lot of changes as they are dynamic in nature. People get into variety of equations with each other and then fall-out too. Take it as a learning experience and move on. Once you finish college you will make new friends and new groups in your work area!