“Check irrational behaviour”- 23 June 2013
Q. I love a guy, he also loves me and we are in a relationship since two years. My family knows about it and they have asked me to stay away from him. But I can’t and I cannot hurt my family too. This thing has confused me a lot. I am in my 2nd year and I want to increase my percentage too. But I cannot concentrate in my studies. Please tell me what to do?
Ans. Listen to your parents and stay away from the guy for some time till you graduate and your parents agree. You could just keep a normal friendship if possible within limits and do not get serious about it. Finish your studies and then plan your personal life. Ask your parents the reasons for their disagreement about the boy in particular or about the idea in general. I am glad you love your parents and cannot hurt them. Generally if all goes well with your studies and career after a few years your parents will agree to your choice and accept him. By then he will be time tested and so will your friendship undergo the test of time.
Q. I have a problem that I do not like sounds of eating. I am very shy so I do not like to chat with friends and relatives. I do not like social appearances so I always remain frustrated. Please suggest me how to overcome this.
Ans. Your source of frustration is not clearly mentioned. Is it because you are forced to interact with people and you actually do not like doing it or are you frustrated because you are shy and hence lonely? There is a contradiction in your statement. If you do not like social appearances then you may not go out and be happy at home. If you want to improve your nature and get out of shyness then you might undergo the personality development program that we conduct at out clinic. If you are happy being alone and without social contacts then there the problem is less as you can chose to stay alone. However in the long run it is better to develop social skills that are needed for functioning in society and be relaxed about it. Shyness can limit your growth in career as well. About the sounds of eating bothering you please come for a consultation with me some time.
Q.I have a very serious and critical problem, one of my friend who used to help his younger sister(maternal uncle’s daughter) in his study, now tells that he loves her and wants to marry her, but his sister never thought such types of things even she respects him as her elder brother. The more critical situation is that my friend says that either he will marry her or will loss his life. I also want to finish this one side relationship so please give the most appropriate solution, for which I will always be thankful to you.
Ans. Any one who threatens suicide over such an uncertain situation really needs psychological help. He is behaving in an utterly irrational manner and seems to have no control over his emotions. Please tell him not to tell that girl his feelings and stop going to their house for some time. He is likely to disturb the girl and make a mess at both the families if he talks about it and makes his feelings public. If he respects you as a friend tell him to stop the nonsense immediately or you will stop talking to him. One option would be to bring him for counselling so that we can take care of his emotional problem. If you can handle it tell him his idea is appalling, impractical, unreasonable and damaging to many people. If he loves his family he should check himself and his actions. Remind him of the social consequences of his actions and the repercussions it will have on the family members. Two happy families will become enemies as the bitterness emerges.