“Heal childhood trauma”- 16 June 2013


Q. I like a guy who is around some years elder than me but that’s not a problem. The problem is I like him and I guess he likes me too. But I can’t talk to him face to face because I don’t want him to find out that I like him because I think if he doesn’t like me then it would be too embarrassing, plus we belong to conservative communities so it won’t be nice to have an affair with him. I just wanted to know whether he likes me or not so I made a fake face book profile and contacted him with a different name obviously. When I started a conversation with him, he guessed that it was me with a fake account. I lied to him when he asked that whether it was me really. Now I am confused that whether I should’ve told him that it’s me only or should I just hide my actual identity from him. I am concerned what he will think about me after all this. Please help.

Ans. Once you have told a lie then it is better to stick to it. Otherwise like you say he will think all sorts of things about you. This is not a general principle of lying but in this specific situation it would be better. With people close to us and whom we love it is best never to lie and to be honest to them. But this is a different thing altogether. You are right about being concerned about it.


Q. I need your guidance. I am actually confused about my life. I am into depression or in state in which I myself don’t know what is actually happening with me. I’m self motivated but series of failure and unfulfilled wishes have shattered me. I have so many unanswered questions about my troubled life whether its career or personal or social I am all troubled in so I need your help to sort it out. And it’s a very long story Ma’am since childhood my life is troubled earlier I just thought it to ignore or let it go but now its returning back to me again and It would be kind of you If you help me out please reply as soon as possible I’ll tell you each phase of my life you just sort it out or tell me what’s the right thing to be done.

Ans. It is good to know that you realise you need guidance and therapy. Old suppressed memories have a way of coming back to haunt the mind until they are resolved. Painful and traumatic events that leave their scars deep inside the mind need systematic handling so that you can be free of them and lead a happy life. Ignoring things do not make them vanish of they are deeply embedded in the unconscious. The best thing is to seek some sessions of counselling so that you can learn to handle them effectively.


Q. I am not able to concentrate on my studies. Many thoughts begin to come to my mind as I sit down to study. Can you tell me what to do to increase my concentration?

Ans. Concentration is the art of removing all the clutter from your mind that you have stuffed into it and then focus only one point. Postpone all others issues for a later time and date and focus on one thing at a time. That is the best secret of the art of concentration. It is simple and effective but calls for will power and clear thinking and determination to do it. When you are free after studies you could pull out your bag of random thoughts and look into it. Inspecting it is also important otherwise it will go on disturbing you.


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