“Check your emotions”-24 July 2011

A phobic

Q. I am an 18 year old girl and phobic to blood-pain-injury-injection. Many times I’ve fainted because of the same. I see hallucinations during the latter part of fainting. I see myself falling to a dark deep pit or a water body. Then suddenly a thought comes that what I’m seeing isn’t true. Then step by step the scenes come to flashback which had made me faint. And then finally I come to conscious. The worst thing in the syncope is that I’ve problem with breathing during the hallucinations which goes on increasing until I become conscious. The breathing problem resembles near death like situation. Have I to consult a doctor? If yes, then to whom-neurologist, psychologist or psychiatrist? Also how to convince my parents for the same (I’ve been an introvert in this case)? This topic has conquered my mind, since now I’ve to be far from my parents for further studies.

Ans. The first thing to do is to consult a physician (M.D Medicine) and take his opinion. He would advice you for the battery of tests to be done to rule out physical problems. Once you are cleared medically in all ways then consult a psychologist. Since you have a fear of some things the spells of fainting could be psychological. Fainting many times acts as a escape route to things that are unbearable to the conscious mind. It’s not an uncommon symptom. It happens to some people who are sensitive and emotional and have a specific type of personality.


Q. I became friends with a girl through reliance mobile friend finder. We used to chat on cell regularly. Her way of talking was very impressive. Slowly I developed love for her. I had met her two times in her home town when I had training. I went by bus to meet her. I was excited. Before this I had mailed her photo but she after lot of resistance agreed to mail her photo (she is average looking girl, fair and tall). After my personal meetings, I realised that her looks in photo and actual are very different. Both families were also aware of our chatting and meeting. She refused love and marriage. Now we both are married and since last four years daily we send sms to each other. One day (last month June 2011) on sms I asked her does she love me? But no clear reply came. She sms that I will never improve. My question of love was just to know what she feels nothing else. We both are well aware of our roles and responsibilities. I had sms her some romantic sms also. We both were on face book also. My profile had my family photo but her profile didn’t. But she never sent her married photo. I don’t know why? I asked her number of times reasons of not sending family photo but she avoided me. Now suddenly she has stopped sending sms. (after my question of love). What kind of behaviour is this? Can she trouble me or is she in trouble? These thoughts are coming to my mind. Can this be termed as long distance relationship? I also many times tried to come out of this but not completely.

Ans. Her behaviour has been quite consistent enough for you to have understood her well. She has always been secretive about her personal self according to your description of her personality. She chats and interacts with you only on a social plane but avoids all personal talk and sharing. She never went personal and intimate with her responses. She likes you as a person but is clear about the limits of interaction and sticks to her values. She has never given you any false ideas and commitments. The problem and swinging seems to be from your end. You loved her and always felt something special for her. She has an influence on your mind which you are not able to resist it seems. You have two choices- one is to forget her and break contact with her forever. The second one is to maintain a healthy social contact with her without getting personal and intimate in your expectations. That seems difficult for you as you slip into your emotions when you relate to her. So check yourself and take a decision.

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