“Get out of harmful distractions”-31 July 2011

Q. My parents are forcing me to do engineering but I do not seem to be interested. I am in 11 std and have taken science and maths as my subjects. I am finding maths quite difficult and I take coaching too but I am all the time scared of the subject. What should I do? I am losing interest in studies and my parents do not listen. I don’t know what I should do when I grow up. My hobby is playing cricket but no one allows me to play. Please guide me.

Ans. Well, cricket is a good career if you have shown some fantastic talent so far. You are already 17 years of age and should have decided if you can make a career out of it or not. Since your parents are also not interested in cricket as a career you will have to think of an alternative career. You may not choose engineering after 12th std exams and may choose any other course of study of your liking. Many courses are open to you once you have chosen science and maths in junior college. But we will have to discuss your interest areas in detail and perhaps do an aptitude test to confirm it. Do not get depressed, study hard for your 12th and do well. Meantime you could convince your parents to come for career guidance and planning to me. I can help you take a proper decision.

Bhilai, XYZ

Q. My son has recently started misbehaving with elders and with his classmates as well. The school teachers are also noticing some changes in him and are complaining about it. He is fighting with his friends and remains irritated all the time. He does not want to study and only wants to play. He is almost 11 years of age and I am worried. He does not want to study and only wants to play. We have tried many ways to help him but we are not getting any results. He does not want to write at all but is very intelligent and understands everything. He was a good student so far. What has to him is worrying me. Please guide us.

Ans. A sudden change in behaviour is a significant symptom and needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Your concern is correct and it has to be understood and treated. The problem could be in the area of study as you mention that he does not like to write. He may have learning disorders and the stress of studies may be making him irritated and angry. He then throws his frustration at his friends and family. The other reason could be an emotional/ psychological problem that is emerging and needs attention. It would be advisable to seek consultation of a psychologist for your son as soon as possible. If your city does not a trained psychologist then bring him to Nagpur to me. Do not delay.

Q. I am a 10th std student and I like one of my teachers. I think he also likes me a lot as he always call my name and he looks at me. If I miss a class he will ask me why I did not come. I think about him a lot. Is it proper to call him on his mobile and make friends with him? I am afraid of my parents and my elder brother. They will take me out of the class if they come to know. What should I do? I am not finding much interest in studies these days and my friends are also angry with me. Please help me madam.

Ans. This is called ‘distraction’. Anything that diverts your attention from your main goal on a continuous basis becomes a distraction that disturbs and destroys you and your life. Your main goal is to study and make a good career ahead. At this tender age if you get distracted with emotions like this and for a guy who is much older to you, you are likely to spoil your mind and your career. Stop thinking of the guy and find good friends among your own age group. It is always better to be with your age group for they have the same goals and problems. They are more likely to guide you in a proper way. An older adult may use / exploit you for his own selfish gains. He may a good teacher but not necessarily a good responsible human being. He may mislead you and try to get you involved with him. Get out of this immediately and mix with only your age friends.

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