“Children are affected in adult conflicts”- 7 September 2014.

Riya

Q. I am 18 year old guy and I am in 1st year of college. I always wanted a good and charming personality which is always respected by others. I want that everyone should respect me. But I think that most people had taken me for granted. I had a friend with whom I shared all my secrets but later on I realized that he starts dominating me. And as I am in my college life so I want an impressive personality. I also don’t know how to handle any relationship. I sometimes feel that I had low self esteem for myself. In last 2 years I had seen many downfalls. I think that my bad luck is going right now. So I want your help and advice that how should I behave with others that every one respects me? I also want to know that how to take any decisions of life? How can I have an impressing and charming personality that impresses every one? How to concentrate on study? And how should I deal with that friend of mine with whom I shared all my secrets? I also think that I can easily get dominated by others, so how could I be a dominant person? I also want to know that if my bad luck is going on then how should I tackle with it?

Ans. Let’s forget bad luck and talk of developing a bold and confident personality. You need to build assertiveness and communication skills. This comes with self confidence which in turn depends upon your self esteem and self image. Without being dominating which is a negative term you can become self assertive and bold. This way you can hold yourself respect and also maintain the self respect of others by not dominating them. This can be imparted through a series of sessions of training and development and cannot be done by books. So cheer up and find the time to take some sessions from us.

ABC

Q. I am in 11th Std and recently passed my tenth with 96.2%. I am preparing for medical entrance. I loved a boy who too is very intelligent in fact more than me. He got 96% in tenth and has also cleared many exams at state level. I still love him. He too loves me. Our parents came to know about this in tenth and we got great scolding. We have decided that we will not meet each other or talk to each other till he gets selected in IIT and myself in a good government medical college. He still loves me very much as I do. He says that he will come back after two years and I too feel that we will be together again. Should I believe him? Please help.

Ans. Of course you can believe him until he gives you a chance to disbelieve him! But life does change for everyone once you get into college and interact at a different level with new people and surroundings. You will also do the same once you enter college as you meet new friends and new atmosphere. Stay positive and have faith in yourself and in him too. All will be fine for you as both of you are good students with a strong goal and focus.

Anonymous.

Q. I and my daughter had faced lots of adverse egoistic situations as my mother in law created so many complications over our husband wife bond. My husband’s blind faith in his mothers motive and violent psyche nature harassed us lot. I managed all the fronts methodically and overcome it, but my baby can’t forget that day to day experience and feel bad.

Ans. She can be helped with counselling and therapy. Children are always the worst affected in adult fights. They are young and sensitive and it affects their growth and development. You as an adult was more capable of handling conflict which is good but you will have to bring your daughter for some sessions of counselling- the earlier the better. Do not delay and do not hesitate. It is a non drug therapy within a healthy and friendly atmosphere.