“Children have differing gifts”- 31 July 2016.
Q. I gave MBBS entrance but will not get a college. My parents are being mean to me, ignoring me. No support or love. At this time when everything is against you, shouldn’t you count on parental love and support? They will be good only if I fulfil their wish to become a doctor and be angry when I tell them about any other course I have to do. They wasted my year because they didn’t let me take admission anywhere else even for backup, coercing me somehow to do MBBS only and now I’m stuck. I have other qualities and interests but they condescend them. It has hit me pretty hard too but they are not letting me channelize this energy anywhere (like classes), not giving me money to pay fee. They would’ve done that if I got good marks. What do they want me to do, sulk all day? More than not being able to crack the entrance, what’s bugging me is my parents’ reaction and pressure and the feeling of being worthless and a disappointment. If I cry, not one of them will console me. Instead they will ignore me and be mean because I didn’t do well in the exam. Maybe this field is not for me but there are a lot of things I can excel at but they live with the notion that only doctors earn good money. I feel like dying at times. I think the only reason I am forcing myself to like the field of medicine is because I don’t want to disappoint my parents. I don’t know how to deal with this.
Ans. I am shocked at reading your mail and fully empathise with you. Your parents are certainly not doing the right thing by pressurising you to do medicine in spite of the fact that you have not qualified for it. You even spent an extra year on their insistence. You have a good command over English I am sure as you write without flaws and that could be one great area for making a career in English language. You say you have many other talents which could be utilised for career making which is nice to know. A timely career guidance session could have helped you as well as your parents to make the correct assessment of your talents, your interests which aids in making the right choice. You could bring your parents even now for career discussions and we could explain many things to them to help them change their attitudes. I cannot understand their behaviour and their reactions and their expectations from you. Not every child is suitable for medicine or engineering. The world would be a boring place if that happened. We need in this world all types of people and all types of professionals. I hope your parents will see the right thing soon and bring you for future course of action. I hope they will get over their anger and begin to love and care for you like always.
Q. I am a 15 year old boy. I am studying for my 10th std boards. I believe in focusing in my studies and not diverting my attention to other wasteful things.
But one day, a girl from my class asked for my mathematics textbook. I gave it to her but later thought that why in the whole class she asked for the book from me as everybody brings mathematics textbook every day. This was not for the first time but since the session started I have experienced this situation four to five times. I am having a suspicion that she is trying to divert my attention from studies. I even talked with my parents on this topic, but they said that I should ignore this. I do not want to score less in the board exams.
Your advice would help me a lot. Please provide me your advice.
Ans. This is wonderful! I am extremely happy to receive a mail as yours. You seem to be a determined and well focused boy with a clear head. This is called ‘a wise head on young shoulders’. This is the best combination for the youth for they have energy and creativity which needs to be utilised for better work. As a student your primary task is to study and make a great career ahead. That is exactly what you are doing. That you are able to see through the ploy of your class mate shows clarity of mind and yes of course she is either trying to distract you or trying to make friends with you. Either way it may not be a good thing for you for we do not know her intentions. If she is a good student like you she may not be a bad person but if she is casual in her studies then certainly keep away totally. Keep up the good work.