“Watch out for online love affairs”- 24 July 2016.

Q. My health is not good. I am not feeling sleepy now-a-days. For many days i tried all types of medicine and things my friends told me but I cannot sleep. Also I do not like to eat any food an d my stomach remains upset. I have lost concentration on the job and my head feels heavy in office. I do not know what is reason for this. Please help me as I am in trouble and feel my life is all wrong and not worth living.

Ans. This sounds like a serious disturbance and would need regular sessions of counselling over a period of time. Loss of sleep is always the first casualty in mental health and you seem to have been suffering from quite some time. The second symptom you say is anxiety and stomach upsets and loss of concentration. These types of multiple symptoms indicate a serious emotional disturbance and can be remedied with help of psychological counselling as well as psychotherapy. Please consult as soon as possible for it may not go away with time. It may however increase if the issues in your mind remain unaddressed.

Q. My son is 10 years old and the school teacher is always complaining about his studies and now his behaviour too is becoming bad. He troubles other kids in class and distracts all. He runs around the class when the teacher is not there and makes noises in class. His class mates have also complained about him to the teacher. We try to explain to him all about good behaviour but nothing seems to be right. We cannot understand what to do with him and his studies and behaviour. My husband is more worried about his behaviour and not his studies. I feel both are important. Can he be counselled and helped with both the things. Please advice. We are very worried.

Ans. Yes, your son can be counselled for the two areas that seem to be affected, studies as well as behaviour. He must be having learning difficulties in specific areas, which lead to loss of concentration in studies and then starts distracting other kids in class. He seems to be hyperactive as well and needs to be checked. His aggression can be a cause of frustration in studies and ill treatment by his peers or at the hands of his teachers. You must be scolding him at home too for his loss of attention and bad behaviour. Yes, you must worry about both the areas as they influence each other and get associated as a syndrome. The child will need to be assessed for learning capacities and also for his behaviour problems and both the issues can be addressed and resolved over a period of time.

Q. I met someone on the internet and believed him. Just like the divorced lady you mentioned last time I too was fooled by the fellow. He spoke all lovely things to me, sent me gifts and told me he wants to marry me, he loves me and likes my looks and all. He later promised marriage to me and asked me to meet him. First we exchanged letters and photos too and we talked a lot of private things which now I am afraid of. If he has taped them then I am in deep disturbance. My head is aching all time and I cannot sleep. I have lost my desire to eat food and keep crying. We met and then it happened. Then after that it repeated many times and it was nice for six months or so. Now that my parents are asking me to get married and I am asking him the same question he is avoiding me. He makes hundred excuses and runs away saying he is busy. Last week he told me I am disturbing his life and not letting him live properly. What should I do? I she cheating me and was his love all cheating all the time? I am feeling like suicide and cannot tell anyone. I am alone and do not have friends to share this type of thing and my family will kill me. Please help me.

Ans. Internet cheating and playing ‘I love you’ games is on the rise. You cannot trust people on the net. Many times they are posing as a nice person but they may have ulterior motives. The motives are generally two which you need to watch out for- one is sex and other is money. You have been cheated by him and hence need to break off from him. Do not fight with him but just walk away. You have been fooled and betrayed and his intention was to pass some good time with you and get away. Till the time you were cooperating he was happy and the moment you asked for commitment he ran away. He was irritated and angry with you for spoiling his life. Actually it is the other way. The best thing to do is to ignore him and drop him as fast as you can. Do not reply to him ever.


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