Choose the best possible solution – May 09 2010

Namita, (via email)

Q. I am a woman in my 40’s with a teenage daughter. I had a love marriage and was happy family of three. Since past three years I found a sudden change in my husband’s behaviour. He is getting attracted towards the girls of his daughter’s age which is really very surprising and more over he is not understanding the repercussions of what he is doing. Last year I had a very tough time with him but then I fought with the situation to revive back my married life. Things were fine till some period but then again he behaves so odd that I feel that I should commit suicide along with my daughter but then I belong to a very well known family and any of my these moves will spoil the name of my both sides of the family. I want you to guide me how should I handle this situation. I am actually too much worried about my future and my daughter. Please help me to come out of this situation or I may commit suicide someday when I actually lose my patience.

Ans. Firstly, do not think of drastic measures like suicide for you have a daughter to take care of. Even if you feel stressed and unable to handle the situation do not think of harming yourself but think of other possible alternatives. You cannot punish yourself for his mistakes and abnormal behaviour. Secondly, if your husband is behaving abnormally the problem lies with him and his mind and not with you. The best way would be to treat him through psychological counselling and therapy. You could consult someone in your city and then take your husband subsequently. Second option would be to separate out into another room or another apartment if possible without taking legal steps. Once alone he may realise many things. Also relax and calm down for then you can handle things better. Every crisis has a solution. Choose the best possible one.  

Sujata (via email)

Q. I completed my B.H.M.S. in 2004. Now I am practicing independently. Now I am looking for MBA in hospital management and medical care by distance learning. Kindly guide me. I am married with a four year old son.

Ans. IGNOU is the best for distance learning or Annamalai University. Search the net for information on them regarding hospital management.  

Chris Redfield (via email)

I study in class 11th. In class 10th I had a crush with a girl in my tuition. But now I all time think about her which disturb me while I am in tuitions and study which destroys my concentration. Now I want to forget her totally and concentrate in my studies. I cannot discuss it with my parents because if they come to know about it they will scold me instead of solving the problem. Please help me to forget that nightmare and please give me a ray of light to start a new life. Please help me. You are my last hope. 

This is an age where you have crushes and infatuations. It is okay to think about a girl at times. Instead of trying to forget about her you could allow your mind some time to think about her and then concentrate on studies. That way your dreamy mind will be happy and your emotions will be cleared for studies. The harder you try to forget her, the tougher it will be. So relax your mind, spend some time dreaming and then study hard. That way you will satisfy both your minds. Try it- it works.

Published in The Hitavada – Emotions column 09 May 2010

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