“Conduct disorders need a sterner approach”- 19 June 2016.
Q. I am a 3rd year student of engineering and will be moving to final year. I’m from computer science branch. I want to prepare for competitive exams to get a good job.
It can be of private sector or may be of public sector. All in my family are well educated and do their earnings. My family and friends are asking me to join several courses, classes of CRT in which I’m not interested at all. Please suggest me how should I prepare myself for good jobs. What I had decided is to prepare for GATE and do M.tech or get a job by cracking my GATE. What should I do?
Ans. A further post graduate programme helps in jobs. You could try either for an MBA or for GATE and an M.Tech which depends upon your preference of higher technical education or management positions. It has to be thought out seriously as an MBA is a good option too for jobs. After GATE you could apply for a job in the various Public Sector Undertakings (PSUs) that recruit through GATE. These include ONGC, NTPC, Indian Oil Corporation, HPCL, BPCL and Power Grid etc. These choices are decided after deep thinking about your goals and ambitions and your personality. Another component besides education is the development of your personality. You must work on that area too from now itself.
Q. My son is 16 years old and is currently in 12th standard, with his exams in 2017. As usual teenagers are, my son also turned kind of aggressive as he entered his teens, and threw random tantrums. But since past 1 year, he has changed drastically. Nothing at home makes him happy. We have never forced him to study, as he was more interested in co curricular activities. But even if we put him to any of the classes, he would stop going after 2 days. Now he has stopped studying completely. Also, he has started abusing us in various ways, demanding money everyday. We are facing some financial difficulties which he is aware of, but not caring for us for a single time, he keeps on demanding huge amount of money everyday, and just speeds out from home, spends it on his friends, and comes home late. We have even caught him going out late at 3 o clock at night and coming at 4-5 o clock. We have tried all ways to make him understand that what he is doing is not good, but he starts abusing us for no reason. He threatens to run away from home, or something equal. If we do not give him money which he demands, he starts shouting, throwing things and uses bad language at my husband and me. I have an elder daughter as well, and he won’t even listen to her, even when he is closest to her. After so many months of this, I am helpless as to what should I do to stop him, or make him understand. In this way, all our resources have started draining out. There are many more things I cannot even describe in the mail. I would request you to please suggest me what should I do, please help me in this situation. Your help is much needed.
Ans. Your son could be involved with drugs or betting or gambling or some activities like these if his demand for money is high. He gets violent if you do not provide him money and you feel helpless and have exhausted your resources you mention. You have allowed the situation to peak and this must have started some years ago and has worsened a year ago. Now perhaps the best method would be to take the help of a counsellor and if he does not agree for that take the help of the police. Talk to your local police station and request them to trace the activities of the boy and his group. They will be able to track him down and if he is indulging in illegal activities the police will act on them. They might get caught and detained in the lock-up for a night and threatened. This will be good for your son. If he requests you for help and promises you good behaviour, you should agree on condition that he will come for counselling. This way we can help him get out of bad behaviour and onto career making. He is on road to delinquency and criminality so it needs to be checked with an iron hand. Lecturing and leading will not help. The police are guardians and custodians and they can set things right. Discuss the issue with them.