“Continuous education and training in skills needed”- 28 October 2012


Q. I feel lethargy and sleep problem all day. My studies are going down and my career will suffer. I feel lazy and do not like to work at home too. I bunk classes and don’t study. I was a good student and was serious on my career. I wanted to build a great career for myself and make my parents proud of myself. But I am failing in my work. Please advise me what to do.

Ans. You seem to have symptoms of depression. There are types of depression and we need to identify your type and its cause. If you were a good student and were serious about your career but are going down in both studies and life in general, you would need to be diagnosed first and then treated. Depression can be treated through counselling and psychotherapy. I would advise you not to waste time further but seek psychological help as fast as you can. Once treated you would get back to your active and energetic self and get on with your life. Failure is never good for anyone and needs to be taken care of as early as possible.


Q. I like two girls in my life. One is my classmate and another one is outside my class. Both are very nice girls and I chat with both daily. I enjoy talking and chatting with both. Now the outside girl wants to meet me and I think she is getting possessive about me. I feel a little worry about telling them about each other. This girl in my class is very sweet and caring for me. The other one is more interesting and smart. What should I do? Should I meet her or avoid her? Should I tell her about my class mate? Please guide me.

Ans. If you want to play safe then do not meet the other girl even if she insists. You could keep both the friendships at a simple platonic level which will make it enjoyable and uncomplicated. I assume that you study in school or junior college and hence are young and therefore should be free from all types of commitment in relationships. It is nice to have as many friends as you want, provided the friendships are clean, honest with no deception involved. You should avoid meeting her in person –however this may result in her being angry with you and deserting you at some point. Be prepared for the consequences hence, which you should take in your stride.


Q. I work in a multinational company with a good salary and with good scope for rise and promotion. But I feel very scared and nervous about some jobs and my boss is very demanding. He likes to shout and criticise me and hardly praises me for anything. I have gained weight and have developed some health problems too. My wife and me have a good relationship but she sometimes does not understand my condition. She feels I have some faults. She is also an ambitious lady which I like as I am ambitious too. She also works and is successful. Will counselling help? What is your suggestion?

Ans. You seem to be suffering from symptoms of stress as per your description you have gained weight as well as some health problems. The stress can be due to various reasons, one being the bad temperament and behaviour of your boss. He may be a difficult fellow to handle but you may learn some ways to manage him and his flaws. He must have some positives too, find that out and appreciate that. Also as I try to understand your situation you may be having some stress while performing some specific tasks. This can happen when you lack the necessary skills for doing a specific task on hand. When you find yourself deficient in that it leads to performance stress. This is a common factor on the workplace for many people. Therefore continuous enhancement of skills through training and development is needed for all professionals in all jobs. Some professionals conduct regular educational programmes to upgrade the knowledge and skills of their workers which is the best thing to do. If companies do not provide that benefit then you have to seek it by yourself. Think of this area. Another area of concern is the relationship between you and your wife. She is ambitious and successful too and you are ambitious but not as successful as her. Is there a silent competition between you two? Does she downgrade or look down on you? Sort that out too. Yes, counselling will help tremendously in identifying the issues, sorting your mind and training in the skills that are needed.

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