“Dangers of online chatting”- 2 December 2018.


Q. I get attracted to fat and chubby women. This is a problem I am facing from many years and I cannot come for counselling. I am a shy and quiet person. I have taken many months to decide to write to you if at all there is a solution.

Ans. I need more details from you before I comment on this. It seems to be like a fetish or an obsession of some sort and we need you to come for counselling and consultation. It is okay to be shy and quiet person and still come for counselling. Many people suffer from such fetishes and they come in different forms and nature. People generally live with it unless it becomes an obsession which becomes compulsive in nature. Then it begins to hurt your social life and personal interactions. It is advisable to get it assessed at least once so that you understand the nature of your problem.


Q. I met a guy on Face-Book and we became friends. We chatted and messaged each other. He is much older to me and still I liked him. Recently I came to know that he is married and that came as a shock. He told me that he is not married. Actually when I asked him if he was married he did not say anything. He kept quiet. I one day saw some photo of his with a lady and from then I was searching for his details and that is how I found out. What should I do madam? I feel like suicide and depressed. I lost all my friends and no one is ready to talk to me today. I have no one beside me at this time. I really liked that man and why did he hurt me so much? Please help me madam.

Ans. This is a common danger that lurks behind online chatting. You do not get to know the facts about the person fully and they may cook up any number of stories and facts. This should be a good lesson for you to become aware of fraudulent practices online and become cautious about future friendships of this kind. It is best to live in reality and meet real people where you live or through people you know. You might cut off online chatting completely. Get out in society and meet real people and make friends. Forget the bad episode and move on. If the rascal is married and has been lying to you he is of no use to you. He has upset your mind and given you a bad experience which you will never forget. He is a negative person and can give no happiness to either his wife or you. He is a corrupt fellow with no scruples and conscience. Forget him as fast as you can.


Q. I am confused about my career. I am doing Commerce in 12 Std but I don’t seem to like it too much. I feel I should do theatre and drama. I have done many plays at school level and people like my acting. My parents are typical middle class people and feel scared that I might not make any money from drama. They want me to become a Chartered Accountant and earn decent money and lead a stable life. They cannot support me for long time and I must earn my living they say. I am sure I will make a good actor one day but I feel frustrated with studying commerce. Please advise me what to do.

Ans. Earning money and opting for an offbeat career is always a big dilemma. It is important to earn money as soon as you grow up and not many parents can support their children for too long. Choosing theatre and drama as your career is a good thing as you enjoy it and also seem to be a good performer according to people. You always get good reviews you said. But you would need to chalk out a business plan of how to earn your livelihood and support yourself throughout the days of struggle. One option is to graduate in commerce and take up a job and do a part time career in acting. Another way is to graduate and get into a drama school for acting straight away and request your parents to support you for two years only. If you pass the test and get selected then it also is a sure test of your talent. If not then you may rethink your plan. A session of counselling can help you evaluate your ability as well as your personality.

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