“Solitude can fuel creativity”- 25 November 2018.
Q. After the placement season at my college I have seen a drastic change in my behaviour, habits and ability to do things. I feel something is just not right with me and I don’t find happiness or feel satisfied by doing anything. I have become irritable and feel everything is wrong with me. I have started feeling worthless and good for nothing. Even my performance at college and my way of dealing with day to day things and people has declined. I have begun to feel scared of everything around me and even feel confused related to anything or any small decision or about things going around me. I can’t reason out what is correct what is not for me. Please suggest how can I get out of this situation.
Ans. You do not mention whether you were selected at the placement season or was rejected? If you were rejected then your behaviour and feelings are explicable. If you were selected you have no reason to feel the way you mention. So I assume for a moment that you were not selected and you have started to de-value yourself. Yourself image has gone for a toss as lose your sense of pride and confidence. Lets imagine that you were selected but still feel unhappy for various reasons, such as the interview process, the comments by the faculties, or your rank among the selected candidates. The best thing to do is to assess and evaluate your strengths and weaknesses and understand the areas of improvement. Every experience is a learning experience in the long journey of life and you need to glean the lessons from them. A bad experience is never the final one which seals your fate. It is just one step taken. Come for a session of counselling if you are not satisfied with the explanation.
Q. I have been studying into the first year of UG programme in another city away from my home. Everything was well and good in the initial days. I am an ambivert; I can’t be very frank and awesomely communicative at the commencing. But as I start connecting with other person I talk quite comfortably. Perhaps this could be the reason that I got late in communicating to all other people in my class with whom I didn’t talk before (especially boys). The problem here lies is that, now everybody has got their own groups. They don’t like interacting much with the people who are out of their group. Also I have my own different thoughts and interests that make them find nothing or less relatable things in me. Certainly this hasn’t stopped me here. I still try my best to talk to every other person I see in the class but they don’t take a keen interest in talking further. This makes me damn upset and feels like being wholly alone. Also the guy who seemed interested in me and approached me in the beginning days had stopped talking to me way too early. I couldn’t figure it out yet what did go wrong that he stopped talking to me. This thing badly pesters me as I have a big crush on him. The other thing that irks me is that, he’s still interested in me but couldn’t speak it out I feel every time I see him. The things around me have become extremely chaotic. I was also not able to share this with the family, thinking that they would get worried and end up losing faith in me as I have fallen for a guy neglecting my studies and goals.
Ans. This is an interesting situation you mention. People can make groups and not allow entry easily to others. Your male friend also seems to have clamped up now after initial attempts. People seemed to have taken offence at your natural behaviour. One way is not to aspire to be part of any group but to interact with others on a one on one basis. Be friendly in a formal way to many or all and be happy on your own. Instead find ways to involve yourself in the college activities with the help of your lecturers and start something innovative. People would then gravitate towards you and then be careful how you treat them! Solitude and loneliness are an opportunity for creativity and innovation you would agree. Think out of the box and you will find solutions to your problem. Also with time people turn around and begin to like you eventually when they understand your strengths. Hold on and be cheerful whatever may be the situation.