Q. I don’t have confidence in myself and I sleep near 3am no matter how early daily I go to bed. I can’t open up in front of my friends and can’t speak up to reach out teachers to clear my doubts. I’m afraid of them no matter how polite they are. I can’t listen to songs because someone who was like my big brother and whom I cherished the most died a few months ago and he was a fan of singing activity. Whenever someone mentions his name or the songs he sang I start to cry and the bad mood remains for whole day. I think I haven’t overcome that incident. But this is now affecting my studies too and I don’t want it to affect. I try hard but if I listen a song then all my hard work turns to be of no use. He (big brother) was my lifeline. That incident was a big shock but I want to overcome it. Do I need counselling?
Ans. Yes, counselling can help you overcome the grief of a lost one. It takes a long time if you let it be unaddressed but you recover sooner when you share it and learn the methods of handling grief. The loss of a close relative is huge and impacts the mind negatively. What you are going through is natural and happens to everyone but you must try for faster recovery for it is impacting your studies as well as your social relations. Your sleep is already disturbed and this cycle needs to be modified. Please come for a few sessions of counselling- you will begin to feel better.
Q. We stay at Raipur and do not come to Nagpur. If you told us to come we will come on weekend. My son is showing behaviour problems since six months. We tried medicines from here but not much change is there. He keeps saying that no one understands me and starts to cry. He is not wanting to go to college and sits and sleeps at home. He fights with his small sister and says we love her more than him. It is not like that madam, we love him very much. We are also very depressed and my wife has developed health issues because of our son. She is very sensitive lady and I am trying to handle my job and my family as well. Please tell us if you can help and then we will come. Thanks.
Ans. Yes, we can help him with counselling. At times when medicines become necessary it is equally important to start counselling too along-with the medicines. Please continue the medicines and bring him to us. Once we have a face to face we could continue the rest of the follow-up sessions on phone counselling. We regularly offer telecounselling services to out-station people and people living abroad. Your wife may need counselling too as she is affected by the state of your son. Please assure her that things will be fine and he will be back to normal soon enough. Take care of your mind as you are the only care-giver it seems in the family. Please call us for an appointment soon.
Q. I am a young girl studying in 10 Std. I was a good student till 8 Std and my problems began from a year ago from 9 Std. There was a boy who would stare at me all the time and make me nervous. I told my friends after many months because it was disturbing my mind a lot. I could not tell my parents and now I feel I should have told my parents. My friends misguided me by saying that he likes me /loves me and all that and I should talk to him and respond back and all such stupid things. My friends started teasing me with that boy’s name and it disturbed me even more. Once they pushed me to say hello to him and I am a very shy person but still I did say hello. He started laughing and ran away! I was very insulted and had a fight with my friends for this. Now my friends stopped talking to me and that idiot also ran away and I am totally lost myself. I lost interest in studies and in meeting people and doing anything. Please help me madam –am I going mad?
Ans. No, you are not going mad and are perfectly alright and it is nice of you to write to us your problem. Sharing and talking about a problem makes resolution faster. I agree that you should have shared it with your mother or teacher who would have guided you properly. Your immature friends enjoyed the show at your expense and rightly said misguided you. You felt confused, insulted, humiliated, and faced a situation where your felt rejected. The boy was only playing a game with you and sometimes these boys get into bets with other boys and play pranks on girls and others. You were a victim of just one such prank. Keep your emotions in check, try to accept the fact that you were the target of a bad joke and now it is over. Make new friends and forget the ones who acted against you. Focus on your final board exams and do well in them and show them your calibre. I wish you all the best. Come for counselling if the problem persists.