Develop a strong identity – 24 Jan 2010

R.R (via email)

Q. What is an identity crisis? Does every teenager suffer this? What does our future depend on- work or palm lines? Does a lonely person always dream or a dreamer is always lonely? Is it good to day dream?

Ans. Every human being grows up searching for his or her identity in life. A teenager feels it more as he /she progresses to become an adult and find their place in life. Who am I and what is the purpose of my life are questions that dog each one of us. The developmental process of identity building is an ongoing one and even adults can face an identity crisis in the face of a changing world. Your future depends upon your work and your commitment to a purposeful role in life. A lonely person may dream more and it is good to see long term dreams and work for it. Just day dreaming and doing nothing about it is escapism. 

Hemnat  Singh (via email)

Q. I just want to write English well and speak as well as same as yours but I don’t know how?  Could you help me? What should I do for this that my English become good? And I need your help. If will you find any mistake please forgive me it is my first time that I am writing a message. I need your suggestion that what shall I do?

Ans. The best way to learn a language is to speak it in your routine daily life. Speak in English with your teachers, friends and family and your confidence will grow. Let people laugh and enjoy your broken English and let them correct you for it. As you express yourself you will learn new words and your will increase your vocabulary. Also read up ‘word power’ books to improve your vocabulary and use the new words in daily language. You could also read aloud the some parts of the daily newspaper so that you learn sentence construction and grammar. But firstly, get over your inhibition and fear to learn a new foreign language. Also get over the Indian complex of considering English as a superior language. After all English is not our mother tongue.   

Anushka (via email)

Q. I am a student with lot of tensions inside me. I have been a friend of a guy from past three to four years. I have somewhat feelings of caring, giving, loving, jealousy too. But now I am trying to break off because he is short tempered and I don’t know why he is angry with me so. As a new year I want to start up with something new. New friends, new life but every time I try to do so I can’t. I have my studies too. I don’t think I am giving much importance to my family because of him. My aim is too big. I know indeed to work hard but what to do I can’t understand? Please help me.

Ans. I am happy to know that you have high aims and that you can work hard. I also understand that you want to break off the friendship with the boy. In such a situation your thinking is on the right lines and you should make say good bye to him. The best thing for you is to re-think through your study and long term career goals and plan your schedules accordingly. Set daily schedules for study and follow them religiously. Get your mind off him and other distractions and calm down your mind. When choosing new friends choose good ones and maintain a safe distance from them lest you get into a similar situation. Learning from past mistakes makes you wise and emotionally mature. Best of luck to you.

AG (via email)

Q. At the outset I would say that I desperately need your help as my husband has been doing very abnormal activities from the past few months. He cuts his hand very badly with a blade again and again. Once he set fire to his shirt and stood on the terrace. Sometimes he threatens to kill me. He is always suspicious and accuses me of having slept with the cook, having an affair with the gardener, servant etc. He is always suspicious and doubtful and keeps a watch on me 24*7. Is this behaviour normal? Please help me. I want to bring him to you but he is not agreeing. How can I make him come to you. He also drinks excessively.

Ans. The behaviour of your husband cannot be termed ‘normal’ from any angle. He certainly needs psychiatric help in terms of medicines and would also require psychological therapy after he sobers down with the help of medicines. If he refuses to visit a psychiatrist, which he is likely to do, then I would advise you to visit one by yourself and report the details of his symptoms. The doctor would be able to help you with some remedy. Please do not panic and do not delay as well as the symptoms might aggravate further.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *