“Developmental delays should be assessed”- 3 July 2011

Sheetal

Q. I am 25 year old. My parents have started their search for good profiled guys for marriage for me. I am also eagerly waiting for that who will be my life partner. My parents found one good guy who is from U.S. So I searched his name on Facebook and found his profile and we started chatting, we were in contact with each other for two month. My parents and his parents were happy that we both are interested in each other, so my parents invited his parents and that guy at our home. As that guy had shown his interest so we all were hoping for marriage and his parents too. His parents liked me so much they were ready for marriage but at the moment when his parents asked him for his opinion then he said- “I would like to do more conversation with the girl at least for two month and then I will tell my decision.” After hearing this I am worried about this guy -what will happen to me if he will say no and also confused whether he really like me. What should I do -should I talk with him and also it will be very difficult for me to concentrate on my work after his negative answer. So please suggest me what should I do. I am waiting for your reply.

Ans. This is a negative answer in one way and a mixed answer in another way. He is ambivalent about the proposal as he did come to visit your family on your invitation and he did not say a direct ‘no’ too. But perceiving things from your side of the situation, it is a humiliating experience and an embarrassment to you for you had approved of him and he was doubtful. You should not have rushed into the situation. You should have made it clear while chatting. Nevertheless, you must have been really shocked to hear his answer. He should have denied the meeting with your family in the first place if he was unsure of his mind. But he came and said something stupid. It may be appropriate for you now to stop chatting with him and thus give him ample time to introspect and decide. If he calls you or sends you messages then tell him that you are interested only in marriage and not in just friendship. So if he has marriage in mind he should talk to you, if he has only friendship in mind he need not call. I hope you did not offer friendship to him earlier??

A mother

Q. My son is 2 years 9 months and he is only speaking few words and he lacks concentration. He does not sit for any activity for longer time. He understands almost everything but he is not speaking. Please guide.

Ans. It may happen that some children speak late and he may begin to speak by three years of age. Of course it is a delay but it happens. He also seems to him in play school or not. I need more data on your child to make any comment. You could come for a session – we could help you assess his developmental milestones and make some suggestions to you for his benefit. Do not worry as there are solutions to every situation.

Ketki

Q. I am disturbed about some matters at home. It is affecting my studies and I cannot share it with anyone at home or with my friends. What should I do? Should I seek counseling or go to a doctor for medicines. What is my problem? I want know what to do and where to go.

Ans. You should come for counseling first as we deal with every kind of human problems. It seems more like an emotional disturbance which can be overcome by psychological methods. Once we are able to define the problem we would explore the solutions. If you need medicines you will be referred to a proper doctor otherwise your problem will be sorted out here itself. Do not hesitate for counseling as it is a fantastic cure for many problems and disturbances.