“Do what you think is right”- 16 March 2014


Q. I am an 18 year old engineering student.  It is like since my childhood I have been obese. But from the last 6 months, I have been climbing stairs on and off like circuits and I have been successful in losing 12 kgs. My parents at first were fully supportive for my initiative. They even agreed on me for going on a diet. But now, they are like I have lost enough weight. They want me to stop it and are always keen to feed me more and more. My dad scowls at me every time I climb stairs. Sometimes we even enter into an argument which I really don’t like.  Right now I am 73 kgs and I have to be between 65 to 69 kgs relative to my height. It is like, I have never been thin and I feel great when people congratulate me for my weight loss. I want to experience how it is like being light weighted.  How do I make them understand my feelings?

Ans. Just go on doing what you feel is right and learn to ignore comments of family members. Many times parents refuse to understand the viewpoints of children due to their own anxieties about your health or due to their rigid mind sets and thoughts. Just smile and keep on doing what needs to be done. It is good to remain within your prescribed body weight as you rightly point out that it keeps you light and fit. Exercising in any form is good, climbing stairs is recommended by doctors. Do not get into an argument as it is a mood spoiler and creates bitterness. Your diet also should be controlled and within limits. Another way would be to join a gym which would make you feel very hungry as the exercise is rigorous enough and even beneficial as it leads to all rounded development of muscles under supervision. May be your parents would be happy with that as you would look stronger and even your diet intake would naturally increase.


Q. I am 29 years old MBA (mkt\fin) with M.com. Three years I worked as lecturer in a reputed college of Chhattisgarh in BBA dept. I am not interested in PhD NET and so don’t want to continue with this job. I resigned because of least scope of growth without these degrees. Now I am unemployed. In Chhattisgarh industrial growth is less. I am worried and don’t know from where to start because for all industries I am a fresher. Now I am giving psc but it’s tough for me.

Ans. All industries take freshers but you fear that your three years of service will not be counted. That may be so but you have to start somewhere if you want to discontinue teaching. You might start at a slightly lower grade but it is important to get into an industry. Once they realise your potential and know your worth they will promote you. As a qualified post graduate you should be willing to travel to other states if necessary later on with newer opportunities coming your way. Go through advertisements in national newspapers and Nagpur Hitavada which is closer home for you. Do not hesitate to make a small beginning as that is how everyone begins. Change your mind set and your attitude and things will begin to move.


Q. I am a 17 year old boy. I loved a girl, she is my classmate. I am a very shy kind of a boy. I didn’t talk to any girl except her that also very less. A month ago I told her my feelings by a letter. I came to know that she is happy that someone loves her so much and also that it would be problematic in her family but after four days when we were face to face she said no. I knew from her friends that she considered me as a good guy. I wonder what happened and made her say no. Since then she is ignoring me. I didn’t got to talk to her. She is a fair tall beautiful girl and I am dark. What should I do? I really love her and very passionate and desperate for her now my life seems meaningless please help.

Ans. I think you know the answer and the reason for which she refused your friendship. She mentioned that it would be problematic in her family so she would like to play cool and safe. She is a wise and sensible girl as she knows her limitations and wants to stay within it. Get rid of your feelings of dark colour as that may not be the reason. There could be many other reasons one can think of but there is no way to know about them until she expresses them. You cannot force anyone to say yes to you. So in the best interests of both of you just smile and accept the rejection. No need to be pained too much. You made a bold attempt and it failed. Never mind. Life is large and extensive. You will find many more opportunities and better ones. Study and focus on studies and career building for some years.


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