Q. I was recently shocked and I am very disturbed and tensed. My son was caught having drugs with some people on the roadside. The police caught him and we had to go there to release him. My family is a good family with educated people and I don’t know how this happened. He is 16 years of age and is in 10th Std. He is bunking school and running away with his so called friends. What should I do? Please give me the proper advice and the proper doctor to go to. Please tell me if psychological counselling will help him. We are all depressed at home.
Ans. Please bring him for counselling. Casual intake of drugs can lead to addiction and with it will start the degeneration of his emotional and moral personality. Drug addiction can spiral into a major disease and corrupt all the systems of the mind and body. He might drop out of school and take to crime to support his habits when you stop giving him money and he is no longer able to steal it from home and others. So we have do everything to stop this drug abuse and put him into positive habits and career making. If your family is a good one then it must be the peer pressure and their influence. Good and strict parenting can help your child get back into the mainstream of life. I hope your son has just started the habit when he has been caught by the police so that he can be redeemed from the drug.
Q. My friend recently attempted suicide but was saved by his room-mate in time. He was taken to the hospital and was treated. How should we treat him? He did not tell us anything about why he did it and the causes. He has a step mother and his father had left his mother many years ago. She lives with her mother and brothers and does not talk to this boy. He wants to meet her but he is not allowed to do so. He says no one loves him and wants to die.
Ans. Your friend needs psychological counselling immediately and psychotherapy. We need to diagnose the nature of the problem and the cause for the attempt to suicide. There may be a history of depression which he might not have reported to his family or his family may not have taken it seriously. There could be other reasons too for this specific attempt. He belongs to a dysfunctional family and may have little attachment to his mother, father or step mother. He may be feeling lonely and lost without the support of his parents. His mother may have her own reasons for rejecting him- she may have a psychological disorder herself or something else may be wrong with her. It is good that he has friends like you to take care of him. Do not leave him alone. Someone should be with him and bring him for sessions. After a diagnosis we will decide if medicines are needed or not.
Q. I am a married woman but love another man. He worked in my office and has now left the office. He still calls me and sends me sms all the time. He sends me many messages and I am afraid my husband will catch me one day. He has started to notice some difference in me. He mentioned something but I ignored it. I love my husband, he is a simple man and he loves me a lot. But he is not romantic. He is a simple man who does his work. He only works and works. He never enjoys life like this other man. He makes me happy and excited. What should I do? Should I continue with him or not? I cannot decide on this. Please help me.
Ans. Of course you should stop this affair immediately. Every action will have its own consequences. You are a married lady and I hope you are matured enough to understand the reactions of your husband and the family from both sides once the truth of your affair is exposed. You mention that your husband has shown some hints of doubt about the change in your behaviour. It would be very soon that he will catch you and have enough proof against you. Are you ready for the after effects of the discovery of truth? Are you ready to break off from your husband? Are you ready for a divorce and is this man willing to marry you? Please ask yourself all the possible questions and try to search the answers which are not difficult to fathom. Wisdom lies in building a happy relationship and a happy home with your husband who you say is a good man. Do not break his heart for the sake of some moments of excitement and pleasure.