Emotions for 17 July 2011.


Q. I’m a student of Std 12. Till std 10 I was among the toppers and scored above 95% but after reaching std 11 nothing seemed to be going right. Marks have gone really low. My teachers don’t understand me and they only shout at me. They don’t appreciate my efforts or give any advice. But my parents never complain and have immense faith in me. My parents’ motivation is what makes me go on. I really feel guilty and sad for them as I’m unable to perform. I always try to give my best but things just don’t work out. I think the reason is lack of time management but I’m working on it since past one year. Sometimes I feel very depressed about everything and wonder if things will ever be all right. Please guide me.

Ans. There could be two possibilities for the decline in your studies from Std 11. One could be the inappropriate choice of subjects in 11th Std without proper thought and planning. The second reason could be mishandling of freedom or distractions in the form of friends and hobbies which leads to bad time management as you say. If there are other specific reasons you could identify them too. You are lucky that you have loving supportive parents who entrust their faith in you and give you time to prove yourself. Do not get depressed and do not think negatively about self. Rise to the challenges and motivate yourself to do better. You will succeed. However make a right choice for future education.


Q. I am in love with one guy. We are in relation since 3 years. We want to marry now but my family is not accepting our relation. He is a sales manager and earns well. My parents are saying that this is not a good salary. First I thought salary is a problem but now I realise they don’t like him at all. I tried to convince them but it was of no use. My parent said either you choose him or us. Tell me what I should do now? I am deeply in love with him. I can’t think to marry anyone else. He also loves me a lot. I also don’t want to hurt my parents. I am in big trouble.
Ans. Find out from your parents what they do not like about him. Look at their criticism from an open mind. You might agree with them on some points. However the final decision could be yours. If you are convinced that he is the best match for you in all ways then you could wait for them to give their consent. Waiting patiently for them would be the best method. It could be a long wait but worth it. Meantime do not agree for any other proposal. If you are convinced about their points then be brave enough to break it off with your friend forever. It’s a tough decision but again worth it.



Q. My problem is that my husband who is a lecturer and well educated and smart personality told me that he cannot live with me because he loves another girl who is also of the same caste. I think he has a mental problem as when he gets angry he beats not only me but also his parents. I do not want to live with that person because he is a double minded person. He wants to live with me but he is not able to forget his first love. Due to these tensions my father has expired. I want to leave that psycho person. Please help me. I am now working as a lecturer in a reputed college. I am not able to concentrate on my work.

Ans. You have a strong case against your husband and getting a divorce should easy. The fact that he beats you and his parents, goes against him terribly and you could register a complaint under the 498 A in the nearest police station. A good lawyer can help you in this regard. Another choice would be to bring him for counselling and therapy and then we decide what to do. If he has mental problems we could treat him and cure him. That way you could save your marriage and also feel satisfied that you have your best in the matter. It is advisable to treat him before you prosecute him and seek a termination.

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