“Evaluate your aptitude and abilities”-3rd June 2012-


Q. I am an Engineering student and am facing concentration problems! I have been discontinued twice, due to failure and my result even in the third attempt is not satisfactory. I am not good in studies but have always wanted to study. However, I start studying, my mind gets diverted and I am losing interest in studies day by day. Please help!

A. Lack of concentration is a common concern for a lot of students. It is important to give up negative thinking and adapt positivity. Instead of thinking “Will I be able to” or “what if I don’t” or “No diverting mind anymore” think, “I will try to do my best”, “I am capable”, “I will manage”, “I will try to concentrate for longer” and similar self affirming things. Calm your mind by shutting your eyes and counting backwards from 20 to 0 when you get distracted. Try to incorporate meditation or yoga in your routine. Believe in yourself, your dreams and your capabilities. If your mind is calm, you become confident and this improves concentration. Also evaluate yourself and your aptitude for engineering –if your scientific ability is low it may be better to take another career. You may be suited for another career.  A session of career counselling will help deciding the facts.  Best of luck.   

N.A., Nagpur

Q. I am a 25 year old Muslim girl and have a guy in mind who I wish to marry. He is a Hindu from another state and his parents have readily agreed for marriage. My parents however, are not affirming because they fear the sensitivity of Hindu – Muslim issues prevailing and believe that I won’t be able to adjust to their culture in the small town he lives in. My family knew about our growing friendship and also warned me to take it slow so I know him well, before I get too involved. But now, they are absolutely unsupportive! Please guide!

A. Being parents, their fears are justified and it’s important to ease them. About Hindu – Muslim issues, they exist even in the smallest part of the country. You should question your parents as to, what they think you will particularly not be able to adjust to. You must then ask these questions to yourself, before you explain your insights to them. You can practically put yourself to the guy’s kind of lifestyle so both you and your parents will get an assurance. Another important thing is to outline clearly with the guy the different religious aspects, customs, traditions and issues that you both may have to adopt, give up or adjust to for each other. You must specify your expectations and wishes about the same, very clearly. You may also very calmly ask your parents why they were open earlier and so unsupportive now. A meeting in Nagpur with his family shall help.

G.J., Chhindwara

Q. I am preparing for my CA entrance after clearing which I wish to go to a bigger place for my further studies. My mother does not want me to go away from her. She fears being separated from both her children and being left alone, as my older sister is also out for studies. It’s very difficult to choose from my career and my mother. I am very confused, please help me.

A. It’s natural for a mother to feel anxious at such times and it’s good that you understand this. You further, need to identify your mother’s exact fears and answer it if you are really needed there. If yes, then are there any coaching classes compatible to the ones you are targeting in bigger cites? I understand that you care for your mother but if your education is to really suffer only you are to decide the genuineness of the situation. It looks like your mother is extremely attached to you. But, excess of a lot of things is not required -this over attachment may also be so. I think the problem is more your mother’s than yours and she may be an over- anxious person which is not good for her health too and neither for you.  Seeing a counsellor may help.

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