“Trouble is that we don’t decide”- 30 May 2012

The real-life story of Bangalore’s Revanna Umadevi Nagraj is very inspiring. Just a typist in a Karnataka Government department, she stumbled upon billiards and got hooked on. Then finding enough time through the loads of work at office and home became her passionate pastime as the green-top of the billiards table fascinated her so much. She practised regularly and became a national champion in the senior category. And then she represented India at the world championships and won the most coveted title. Even though she still is a Government employee, Revanna Umadevi Nagraj has become a celebrity in her own right, having achieved that status through sheer hard work and focus even as took care of her work at office and home.

The real question is: How many women stretch them-selves to such an extent — fully and unreservedly? And, another question: How many women only complain that they have no facilities and no time and no resources?
This happens because of a few reasons.
One, most women are not able to find for themselves some very engaging and passionate fascination. Most women are happy to be where they are — a condition termed as ‘status-quo-ism’. Revanna Umadevi Nagraj’s special quality is that she refused this status-quo-ism. She refused to be buried under the load of work in office and at home. She insisted upon following her passion fully. And therefore, she made the difference, as every woman does.
The trouble is that we, women, do not decide what we want to achieve. And we provide ourselves with a wonderful escapism — that we have no facility, no resources, and no support.
The trouble, let me assert, is that we agree to be victims of our own traps, our own status-quo-ism. The trouble also is that we never search for something that would become our passionate calling. And that is why we do not make the difference.
Let us realise that even men find themselves trapped in such conditions. Most men are status-quo-ists. Most men prefer to live in comfort zones. And such people lose the right to demand glory from life. For, status-quo-ism is an antithesis of glory in any field. Status-quo-ism is against a sense of unease in favour of some bright achievement. But most of us — men and women — are happy getting frozen in comfort zones of status-quo-ism. How, then, can we be achievers and find life thrilling?
I realise that this is a really difficult area of life. To jump out of status-quo requires a lot of courage, a lot of readiness to chew the dust if a bid fails. So, most men and women choose a life in the groove.
Let alone men who will make their own choices, I will like to focus on women. In fact us women have in our personalities something very special — consistency. Men lack this quality in a big way. We are also better handlers of stress, which men are not. We know how to make quick amends when things turn bad, which men find difficult to do easily.
But again, the trouble is that we do not decide to use all these qualities. We allow these qualities to rot, to go waste, and then complain that life has dealt us some tough hands. That way, we become unfair to ourselves, and also unfair to our parents who have groomed us with some care and concern.
Here are a few suggestions for women to consider seriously:
One, women should think deeply about what they want to do besides just their jobs in employment or in their profession. We consign ourselves to mundane life that does not allow us any real-life thrill. So, if women look for themselves something engaging and fascinating, they will certainly come across something that would become their calling in the days to come.
Once this calling is identified, then things become easy. We get focus. We get a sense of direction. Efforts then become meaningful. Life assumes a sense of purpose.
Yet, the trouble is that we do not make the decision about our calling. And, we even don’t allow anything to move us, touch us from inside, stir us. And that is where women become their own enemies.
So push yourselves and move!

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