Everyone can be a worthwhile person – May 23 2010

Bhagyashree (via email)

Q. I am a student of second year engg (electronics & telecommunication). I am not even able to maintain 60% aggregate which is the basic requirement of any job. I don’t think I am capable of completing this degree course. Many a times I feel like leaving this course and pursue another one, but I am totally confused. I don’t think I am capable of doing anything worthwhile. Please help me my life is getting worse.

Ans. What you need is career guidance and career planning. It seems that engineering is not the best choice for you as you find it difficult to score. Everybody has the choice of opting out of one course and getting into another. I know several students who have made wrong career choices initially and then changed their course of action. You can also do it provided you are clear what you want to do. If not then seek consultation with me for that. Throw out negative thoughts of being worthless as I can see that you are an intelligent girl who has cleared one year of engineering! But every subject is not everyone’s cup of tea.     

P.T (via email)

My marriage is getting fixed. This Saturday the boys parents are coming to decide date of marriage. I do not like that person. This I have told to my parents numerous times but in vain. Actually I am 27 years old and they are worried about my marriage a lot especially my mom. We are looking for a groom since last three years but unable to get suitable match. This time everything is going positively with the guy. He is tall and educated as well but he has very weak personality. This is over-looked by my parents, they are not able to understand. Yesterday I met him and every time I talk or meet him I get irritated. I can’t take him anymore but my parents especially mom I am afraid of. She is very sensitive. He is not at all to my expectations. Please reply what should I do.

Ans. If the guy is educated and tall too in what way is he weak? A weak personality could mean so many things. Perhaps he could learn to develop himself further and improve his personality. If you think your judgment about him is sound and rational then one way could be to tell the boy himself about your negative vibrations with him. It would be improper to pass judgment on him but it is alright to state that you do not feel anything for him and do not feel comfortable in his company. Let him respond to that. At least you can open a dialogue with him and make friends with him even if you do not marry him finally. If he is open minded he may look into your problem and solve it too! You may like him after all. Do speak your mind to him.

P.D (via email)

I am a 34 year old shopkeeper, not earning, but through monthly income scheme and parents somehow it goes on. Problem is that before 10 years, when I was in Nagpur studying 3rd BHMS I fall in love with a girl, I proposed her, she responded by telling it to the teacher, then I left college. Due to this I was shocked and later sleeplessness, procrastination, anxiety, fearsome hallucinations, day hallucinations etc, haunted me. Some say it was due to schizophrenia, Depression etc. Now I am in love again with a high earning girl but bouts of depression, sometimes hallucinations prevail. I haven’t proposed her. Please prescribe for sleeplessness,hallucinations.

Ans. I hope you have gone for a psychiatric consultation by now. You have been suffering from some symptoms or the other for a very long time of 10 years. You are not working for a livelihood and are living off savings at the age of 34 years. This means that you are unable to work steadily and earn your livelihood. You can lead a normal life and get married too if you take care of your health first. Please consult a psychiatrist as soon as possible.

Published in The Hitavada Emotions column – 23 May 2010

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