Focus first on goal then degree – Apr 11 2010

Anonymous (via email)

Q. I am 29 years of age and an unmarried girl. I have completed my studies from Nagpur University. I was not a good student basically and completed my studies with big delay of failure. After graduation I have completed some diploma courses and did a job in few private firms. But I was not satisfied with my salary and my post that’s why I never concentred on my job and left it. Now my parents ask me for further studies. I too realise that in today’s world self dependence is very important for women. I want to do MBA by distance learning from Open University and simultaneously I want to do a job with good salary. I wanted to know whether Open University courses are having similar value as regular university courses have or not? Is this course beneficial for me in this stage of my life? Another problem is that I am not that much confident as I was before. I am always confused and scared to involve in new opportunities. Please suggest me what should I do? Other than MBA which subject I can choose so I will find a better job for me?

Ans. You would need to plan your future career properly and not keep doing courses. A course is done with a career goal in mind. I am not sure what your ambitions and long term goals are. You also mention some emotional disturbances like lowering of confidence and confusion of some sort along with some fears. I would advise you to see me for career planning and guidance as well as personality improvement. We have a number of suitable tests for the purpose which help us know your personality traits better and then help you choose the best career. Once that is decided you may then think of the appropriate degree that needs to be obtained.       

ZYZ (via email)

Q. I want some advice about myself. I am a 22 year young boy and I am in love with a girl of 24 years since 5-6 years from my school days. When I was in 10th std she was in the 12th in same school.  She used to watch me but I did not show my interest in her. But she kept watching me for many years. Slowly and gradually I became interested. Now and then I started watching her going & coming from college daily but my thought was only to see her not to propose her. But she thought I wanted friendship so she gave me her gentle smile and I was shocked. Well as my academic result was not good i.e. I failed twice. I discontinued watching her openly as I was lean and thin (but I continued watching her secretly). But she kept watching me. Now I am in graduation final and I went up to her but could not tell her my feelings. She showed no interest in me and I was shocked. I’ve decided to marry her. I want to propose her but today I am not anything and she is two years older than me and she is better qualified than me and a foreign company has selected her. I am too working hard to get her. I am preparing for banking and working hard to get good % in my BA but don’t want to forget her. She is a smart girl. She is very fast in everything and I am slow at every work. Please guide me. 

Ans. The girl seems to have changed-she must have matured after all and she is also two years elder to you. She was in 12 std when she may have been infatuated by you but now she must have grown up. You are still doing graduation and you have also failed twice, whereas she has completed her PG and is working with a good company. Age does matter as a lot of progress takes place with age. She seems more confident than you and naturally so. You could still try your luck by being in touch with her and declaring your feelings when you gather your courage. However be prepared for a rejection so that you can save yourself from the ensuing trauma. Meantime work hard and prove your worth. You could consult me if you still feel perturbed.

Published in The Hitavada – Emotions on 11 April 2010

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