Investing in your-self is being wise – 04 April 2010

Q. I have done MBA from Nagpur University last year. After that I had searched for the job up to 4 month but I wasn’t successful in the interview due to my bad communication or fear. After that I got a job for a month only. After that for two month I didn’t go for any interview. Actually now my procrastination attitude has been on the increase. I think that I should go for interviews but I do not feel like it. Due to this days are going and I have nothing to do. Day by day I am going into depression.  Actually I want to become a successful businessman- how should I make my attitude suitable for that? What should I do for taking first step towards my goal? Please help me.

Ans. Yes, you do seem to be undergoing depression. At your age you should be full of energy, excitement and ideas. A businessman has certain personality qualities that you need to understand and explore in yourself. I could help you with both- curing your depression as well as with career guidance and planning. I could test your personality and make you aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It takes a lot to be successful and to be a businessman and it will help you to realise that your primary asset is you-yourself. So investing in your-self at this stage would be a wise thing to do.  

P.P (via email)

Q. I just want an answer to my question. WHY APPEARANCE MATTERS? Should we care about how we look like? I think that is all rubbish, a waste of time and a waste of life! If we are doing so, we are letting others dominate our mind.

Ans. True, excessive concern about looks is foolish and a waste of time. But remember this type of concern also depends upon the type of profession you are getting into or already working in. For example, professionals in the film and fashion industry should be excessively concerned about their appearance. Also remember different industries or professions decide their dress and appearance codes. Many companies would decide and fix uniforms for their employees compulsorily. Some even decide and fix the make up to be used by the women employees. As a free person in your personal life you can choose and decide the way you want to dress and appear before society. But remember your appearance and your dressing style speak something about you and your personality. People will notice it in detail and react to you accordingly. The choice is entirely yours.

Anonymous, (via email)

Q. I got married in 2006 and I am a MCA passed out student. My problem is that my husband is a very nice person but he is not so open and expressive. He does not like to talk to anyone, does not like to visit any one. He does not try to keep contact with any friends and relatives. His regular routine consists of yoga, office, yoga, newspaper reading, watching Astha or Sanskar channels, cricket, and then dinner. He is a spiritual person and a supporter of a famous baba. We both love each other very much but due to his irritating and boring nature I am feeling like losing something. I have lost my identity. So many restrictions are there for me, like can’t watch movie, can’t go to restaurants, no friends, no masti, can’t wear this, can’t eat this, can’t go to his house. He is not so romantic either. I don’t have any job so I am staying with him. Where I am staying there is no such options to make my mind free. So I always have a problem with this. It seems like I am always upset and curse my life. Always I cry for my luck. Sometimes even I think my life has spoiled after getting married to such a boring person. He is moody and that decides how he will talk to me. I am having lots of problems. Even I have tried to commit suicide also. But I don’t want to spoil my life as it’s a God gift. I was having some health problems recently then doctor told me to express my feelings. I had a best friend with whom I would share but that is lost too- maybe he is avoiding me now. What should I do? Please give me positive suggestions. 

Ans. It is unfortunate that both of you are not suitably matched to each other. Many parents make this mistake of not looking into the personality of the other would be partner before fixing the marriage. Just a good degree, a good job and a good family background is not enough. But now that you are married you must compromise with him and yourself and try to live happily. I think if you get your freedom to decide what life style to lead you could be happy with yourself. For example, you could work, make a career, have your friends circle and also take care of your house and husband. He should not and cannot force you to lead his life style. Two different people with different personalities and life styles can make a marriage work if they love and respect each other and also trust each other whole heartedly.

Published in The Hitavada – Emotions 04 April 2010

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