“Get out of fantasy and be practical”- 11 August 2013


Q. I did M. Sc in microbiology. I am confused with my career. I get depressed when I realize that I am still in bottom. I easily change my view when someone gives an advice. I don’t know what I like. This is a problem from childhood that I am confused. I am lazy. I don’t like housekeeping. Please help me what should I do.

Ans. The best thing to do is to come for a session of career counselling. Instead of fretting about it and spoiling your moods it is best to seek professional help. We would help you understand and assess your strengths and weaknesses and find out your interest areas and your type of personality. This would help you decide the best option for you after doing your Masters. Do not worry. Seek help as soon as possible.


Q. I am an engineering student. I am very depressed in my life because of my past experiences and failures in life. Recently I broke up with my boyfriend. We were in a relationship from past 6 years. I feel like committing suicide. I know I am facing all this coz of my attitude. I have no friends coz my boyfriend didn’t want me to make any friends. Because of him I have already lost my friends and I can see my career getting into a bad phase. I have already lost a year and now I am hopefully waiting for my results that I would pass. And the place where I live, there people look at me as a bad girl. But the truth is I feel I am a very good girl. Some people who don’t like me spread rumours about me. My parents have no hope for me. I was a very good girl but by mistake I got into wrong friendships which made me arrogant and in-disciplined but I want to change my image. Sometimes I feel I live alone. I do not want to share my feelings with my parents coz they will get worried. My boyfriend was a good and loving person but I felt I am not worth him coz I never understood his feelings and always hurt him and made him cry. I have many aims in life. I want to take up higher educations I want to go to many places. I believe in god but still sometimes I am afraid and worried which affects my studies. Please help me.

Ans. It is good that you are realising your mistakes and is ready to rectify them. You rightfully realise that you made wrong type of friends and that lead to your downfall as it affected your behaviour negatively by making you arrogant and in-disciplined. You also realise that you have suffered with your social image. The best part is your positive attitude towards life and your high aims. It is good to have dreams and high aims in life and that you would like higher education. I am sure you can overcome your setbacks in life and get going with a positive attitude towards future. Get rid of all negative emotions and ignore the negative social comments for some time and focus on career making. Try to forget your boyfriend too as you have broken up with him now. This is a challenging time for you to regain your lost image and respect. Once you begin to succeed people will again change their image about you and start believing in you. That would be the day to look forward to. Nothing is permanent in life, neither success nor failures and nor people’s attitude. Best of luck.


Q. I am a final year student pursuing Engineering. I am in relationship with a guy since last 6 months. The problem is we belong to different religion & our families will never accept us. This thought makes me sad and I am unable to concentrate on my studies. Should we separate? So that it won’t hurt us in future? Or continue with what’s going on now? I am really messed up and don’t know whether to listen to my heart or brain. I talked with him about this, but he says not to think too much and everything will be alright. But deep inside, thinking practically, I know that we have no future. What should I do? I don’t want to spoil my future. Please help.


Ans. It is better to listen to your brain and not your heart in this matter. You are already aware that there is no future to this relationship when you think practically about it. You are absolutely right about getting out of the fantasy circle and making a practical choice. Fantasies do not last long and that is when disappointment and disillusionment sets in. So be brave.

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