Q. I am contacting you in regards to some issues that I am facing in my day-to-day life. I have been knowing you since my childhood days since you would visit our school. I am also a regular reader of your column in The Hitavada. I am facing a memory problem these days that is proving to be costly for me, in my day-to-day life. I have got absolutely no idea how to tackle this problem of mine. I tend to forget every single task that I am assigned to, either by my parents or by some other person. Being a student I am much worried about my career like how am I going to deal with this. I forget almost anything and everything and have to rely on my phone to remind me some. This is affecting my studies as well. I request you to help me out in this regard to your earliest. Have a good day ahead!
Ans. We could help you by testing your memory and if it turns out to be normal then we will help you identify the other reasons that could be affecting the functioning of your memory. There are psychological reasons too for such symptoms, for example, stress, distractions, obsessions or even preoccupation of the mind with other issues. It would be advisable to make one trip to my clinic so that we can make an assessment. Please do not worry, it may be a simple thing you might discover.
Q. I am an engineering student of 3rd year. I am 20 yrs old. My problem is that I am in love with a boy who is one year senior than me. It is around 8 yrs since I feel for him. But I don’t want to be involved in these things. We both are from same school, when I was in school I used think that it is just an attraction, once I get out of school I will forget him and after that for 2 years I did not have any contact. But last year we became friends on facebook and this was the 1st time in my life when I talked to him. I haven’t talked to him during my school days. I was very happy talking to him. But I talked less to him because I didn’t want a relation more than friendship. But in my heart I loved him. And this is what hurting me too much. I want to take him out of my mind because my parent would never accept this, they will not understand me. And above all I don’t want to hurt my parents and can never go against them because my parents are more important than anything in the world. My parents are very much caring, they fulfil all my wishes but accept this. That is why I am unable to share this with my parents. I also fear that if I will tell them then they can start doubting me. I don’t have much freedom at home & telling them can ruin the little bit what I have. Since I am unable to share it with my parents it is creating negative effects on me. I get too much angry on little things, I feel like crying all the time, unwanted thoughts comes to my mind. Sometimes I feel that I am getting mad day by day. And with these reactions I hurt my parents a lot. I don’t want to give anyone more importance than my parents. I love them a lot. Please help me how can I get rid of this the biggest problem is my anger which ruins everything. Please tell me how can I reduce it. Please help.
Ans. Your high irritability and anger could be symptoms of stress as your mind is in conflict between the boy and your parents. You love your parents, do not want to hurt them by telling them about your friend for they will never accept him you feel, you also feel that you do not have much freedom at home so you are trying to suppress your feelings for the fellow. This state of conflict always creates some stress in the mind as there is a constant struggle in the mind and you are never at peace. In such a situation it is best to decide one way or the other so that you are clear about matters. Either you follow your parents and forget the boy and do not enter into friendship with him or if that is difficult then you might have to rebel against your parents and befriend the boy. Making a choice is not difficult but it has to be done one day. For the moment you could also decide to postpone the decision and calm your mind. Your anger will subside as you feel in control and peaceful in mind.