“Heal and seal emotional hurts”- 20 March 2016.
Shruti.
Q. I was in love with a guy five years back (2011) we were in relationship of a year. First he told that one of his relative was behind him and he was not interested as he loves me. He used to check my mails, call records, scold me if I talked to anyone (Boy). The day I proposed marriage to him he said he loves his mentioned relative not me. He also said I am not of his type and I must get married with my parents choice. After all this I got married but had a failed marriage and in between my ex moved on and also broke all contacts with me. Now suddenly I saw him on social networking site, that too very happy. From that day my nights have become sleepless, all old-bitter memories are haunting me. Shall I contact him again? I am feeling frustrated and jealous. Please help me.
Ans. It seems after seeing him on face book your past has been revived to haunt you. It means that the emotional trauma that you underwent with the guy was not resolved and put back in your memory. Matters must have become complicated due to your failed marriage. A happy marriage would have healed your wounds and forget the earlier guy. All this is unfortunate. However the best thing for you is to stay calm, relax your mind, cool down your emotions and study them. Do not jump into the past by activating your contact with the guy. That would be the biggest mistake. That will make you further miserable and angry. So delete him from your account and make newer friends. Emotional past hurts should not be re-activated rather they should be healed. A few sessions of counselling will help.
D.L
Q. I am studying B.E 3 rd year in Nagpur with 7.1 pointer. From month of July we will be having campus placements. But I am confused what to do. I need to get placed in a good company cause my parents have high expectations from me and even I want the same. But how should I prepare for it?? How should I be impressive and different from others? Firstly I am not technically that strong and that leaves me de-motivated. And secondly these mass recruitment companies don’t keep up for long. I heard from seniors that we are bound to do a lot of work and it is very stress full and they are now resigning from the job. And there also goes a saying that on simple B.E graduate degree you don’t get a job. You need to go for higher studies. So my actual confusion is what if I don’t get a job? So what should I prepare for? In my class some friends are trying for GATE. I am not at all interested in gate cause it’s all technical and I hate it so won’t cope up with it but I heard that a good gate score helps you to get in a good company, sets you out of the crowd and can go for PSU too. Next comes MBA as some are preparing for CAT. But I am not understanding what will I do after doing MBA. Is there good scope for it?? As there are many graduates done MBA and still have no job. And if I opt for it which field should I take? I have a bit of interest in HR. But still the same question what is the scope? What after MBA? Which are the good colleges that will give good placements and good training? How to get in them? How much do I need to invest in it? After this comes PSU. I have no problem in being called engineered banker. There are many bank exams coming up now-a-days and they pay a good amount. Even ISRO exams. But these needs a lot of dedication and after having it all there is only a small hint of hope of getting selected in these exams. So I am not understanding what should I prepare for? Where should I put my time?? JOB? GATE? MBA? Or COMPETATIVE EXAM i.e PSU?
Ans. All this churning in the mind is natural and a necessary process. This needs discussion on a personal level and answering them through the column will be difficult. Do come for a session of career counselling to think through the decision properly. You will get the right answers for sure. Various factors need to be discussed such as your personality, your goals and ambitions and your aptitude and attitudes before we finally decide.
