“Identify your source of stress”- 27 January 2019.


Q. I am in trouble. Many thoughts keep going through my head and I cannot sleep. Many thoughts are irrelevant and I know they are illogical in nature and not related to my life. I try to tell myself that I must not think like this and I should be more sensible. I feel mad at times and not in control. I feel like a diseased person and need treatment. Is there a treatment in psychology for it or where should I go for it? I am discussing this for the first time and after much guts I am writing to you. Please guide me properly.

Ans. It is good that you have written about it for it a psychological disorder called Obsessions and it seems to be your problem. You could explore the net for ‘Obsessive Compulsive Disorder’ called OCD in short and you could identify your symptoms. However for the treatment you need to consult a psychologist, like me, and if the intensity is of high nature you might need psychiatric medicine too. Both the treatments can run parallel and that will give you faster relief. You should not suffer more than you already have and should seek consultation soon. The first step is a psychological assessment of the nature of your problem, and once the diagnosis is done the treatment follows.


Q. I am working in a good company and have a good pay and all. But since some time I am feeling stressed and unhappy. I feel that there is less satisfaction in this job than it was earlier. I don’t know why I am feeling this way and I cannot explain it. I try my best to work hard and do better and better. However I cannot leave this city and go as I have two small children and my husband also travels a lot. He says I think too much and worry too much and everything is alright. He has no time to listen to me. Should I come for counselling?

Ans. Your source of stress could be both your work life and your personal life. Sometimes things overlap and give a multiplier effect. Your husband does not give enough time to you and travels a lot which makes you responsible for both the kids upbringing which can be a source of frustration for you. Your expectations from him may be greater than he is contributing although you may not be expressing it and keeping mum about it. The second source of stress could be your ambitions of a going higher up in your job but you find yourself stuck due to domestic responsibilities and the inability to leave this city and shift to another place with better job opportunities and prospects. But yes, do come for a session of counselling to help you identify your source of stress and dissatisfaction. Identification of the problem is half of the solution. The other half is either accepting it wholeheartedly or acting on it.


Q. Examinations are coming close and I am feeling de-motivated to study. My parents are constantly nagging me for good marks and I feel that I should fail and give up everything. I am an average student and I know what I want to do in my life. They will not allow it as they have different ideas which I don’t like. They are typical with forcing me to do engineering or medicine. I want to do business and have lots of ideas in my head. I feel like giving up my studies and run away from home. Please help me madam –what should I do?

Ans. Calm down and relax your mind and think logically. Never allow your emotions to run away with you even if you feel like it. I am glad you have vented it out and written to me about it. It is true that parents can have their own set of expectations from their child which may not match with it, but it is equally true that running away from home or life may not help you achieve anything. Firstly, you must listen to them as to what they want and then you should discuss with them what you want from life. As I understand it doing business is a great idea but I also value the process of educating your mind and acquiring knowledge and building skills. Engineering may be good branch for acquiring good reasoning and analytical skills which will be an asset in doing business. If you do not have the aptitude for engineering you can opt for another degree alright. We can help you with an aptitude test which will convince you and your parents as well of your abilities. Of course with a brilliant idea in your head, business can be done without education too but in this age of knowledge it is not a good idea to leave your studies and be without a graduation. Think about it seriously –for it your life.

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