Q. I have completed my class 10th board examination and now I need to make choices for my career, my parents are willing me to join in hands with them in family business but my mom wants me to join her side of business and my dad wants me join his side of business, I am confused what to do, I have interest in subjects such has history, English, political science, biology but also I love doing art and craft work such as painting, sketch making handmade articles etc. I am confused what stream to choose and also I have less time to decide, could you please guide me.
Ans. Career planning is serious business as the choice made is for life! Of course you can always change it mid-way but that takes a toll on your mind, money and time. So a well thought out decision is the best thing to do. Have a round of serious discussions with your parents and thrash out the pros and cons of different career choices that you are interested in. As you have passed your board examination and very less time is in hand for you to make choices – you can do a simple exercise- make a list of things you love to do -make a note of your hobbies, activity you would prefer to do in your spare time, subjects you were able to grasp easily and enjoyed leaning, also make a list of subjects you don’t like, because we choose career for lifetime, we cannot do things we don’t have interest in. Then short-list a number of careers you can think of for yourself. Again discuss with parents about your choices and doubts. If you are still unable to reach a satisfactory choice of career, then come for career guidance. The best, easiest and scientific way I would suggest is to take an aptitude test so that you will have clear idea what abilities you have. The aptitude test is followed by career guidance and counselling for planning the various career options open to you. This process takes into account your aptitude, your interests and your personality factors which all together go for making a happy career!
Q. I am 19 year- old, I have anger issues, sometimes I burst out on other people around me, I get irritated when things are not happening according to me, I get angry when someone else blames me. My behaviour is affecting my social life. If my parents scold me I either go all silent or I burst out, I hate being compared and I think my parents are still trying to control me, if they say no to me I start crying out of anger, I think they want me to live according to them, they stop me from meeting my friends, they do ask me many questions when I say them I want to hang out with friends, I am getting irritated with them. Ma’am please help me.
Ans. Try to understand that your behaviour can be under your control. We cannot control someone else’s reaction or behaviour but what we can do is control our own actions and reactions to the other person. When it comes to anger or angry actions, make a note of events or actions that made you angry, which will help you understand the daily triggers of anger. When we do this we often realise or understand what stimulus activates anger emotion and self- awareness is very important for one to understand himself/ herself and environment around. Also maybe you think that your parents are trying to control you or stop you from doing things you want to do but think the other way round – they are concerned for you therefore they ask you questions, they are concerned about your safety that can be one of the reasons they are questioning you. Talk to calmly about what you feel, ask them that what’s the reason for saying no, ask them what do they think about your friends. Communication with them on the issues will help you and them too because lack of interaction makes them feel insecure about you. Ask sometimes your friends to visit you at home and introduce them to your parents. Openness and mutual trust build good relationships at home.