“Life is beautiful–learn to mange it” 8 May 2011

Q. I am a 13 year old girl, academically a topper. But I don’t have any friends, and I am very lonely. I have developed an acute depression due to loneliness and I am fed up of life. I cannot come for counseling. Is there any way to overcome this depression? Please advice.

Ans. You may be introverted and socially shy which makes you friendless and lonely. That could lead to feelings of sadness and mild depression. However, another possibility could be that you are actually depressed for other reasons and you would need medicines. It would be important to know for how long you are depressed and whether it is on the increase or decrease. If by nature you are introverted you must have always had few friends then why should the levels of depression go up so much for you to feel fed up? Please talk to some sensible senior/elderly person who can help you. The best option would be to come for at least one session of counseling so that we can make an evaluation.


Q.I am a 17 year old girl. I have a dusky complexion. I am not so dark skinned but not even fair enough to be satisfied. This has led to an inferiority complex in me. Whenever I see my other colleagues more fair than me, I become jealous. I want to become fair. I was very fair
in childhood days but after I started going to school from cycle without even tying a scarf on face I became tanned. Please help me madam. Tell me some fruits or something that I can have to get a permanently fairer complexion. I feel that external application of any
creams or any packs don’t affect much and doesn’t give a permanent and everlasting fairness. It doesn’t matter if I take a year or two to become fair or even if I need to continue having it for lifelong but I want a permanent fair complexion. Please help me ma’am. I would be happy if you give detailed information regarding this matter as an
article and publish it by 1st may in Hitavada paper instead of only giving a short reply to my question. Waiting for your help.

Ans. There are two ways of handling the issue. The best one is to accept whatever God has given you and be happy with it. Since this is something we cannot control, we should learn to accept it with gratitude. Indians are anyway wheat complexioned and that’s a lovely color. Some could be a shade fairer or darker- it hardly matters much. The physical beauty is always of secondary importance. The primary aspect is your personality. Your life is managed by your mind and your thoughts. So think positive and focus on building your skills and your personality. The second thing to do is to eat a good balanced diet low on sweets and oily stuff, more fruits and vegetables and lots of exercise. The exercise helps in all ways for cheering up the mind and also toning up the body and giving you a glow. You could of course consult a dietician who would help you draw a proper plan. Be a good girl and accept yourself.

A young girl, Amravati.

Q. I am facing many problems. Before three years back I came to the city of Nagpur for doing an Airhostess training but in these three years I have faced many hardships. I came to know many people and their nature. We are six sisters and my parents are from humble background. There was no one to guide me properly. I do not understand many things about my life and I do not know what to do? Please help me.

Ans. Life is always tough for people who come from the rural or semi-rural backgrounds to study in cities. It is a cultural shock and is part of your training and development of self. Take all the negative experiences in a positive light and learn some good lessons out of them. They will help you in further adjustment. As an airhostess you would meet the urban upper middle class and it is important for you to understand their mind-sets. That will help you become a good airhostess. Do not get bitter about life and the experiences and never allow it to affect your mind so much. It’s always a temporary thing. You could write more about your specific problems in your next letter and I could guide you with it. Never lose hope. Life is beautiful. Learn to manage it well.

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