“Take charge of your health” 15 May 2011


Q. My problem is since last year I feel very unconfident and also feel inferior. I feel that now I don’t look good and I can’t even look good even if I want. The reason of all this is my health problem. Since last year I’m suffering from a severe hair loss problem which has greatly affected my looks. They are not at all like before. I can’t keep them normally. This has depressed me a lot. I consulted many doctors about all this but it was useless. Now I’m having a homeopathic treatment. And the other thing is my relationship. My boyfriend went to another city for studies and during this period I got to know about his female friends. Though I don’t find him un-loyal but I dislike his contacts with females. I get very insecure and possessive. I feel very jealous when I see his face-book friends looking better than me. I am otherwise good looking except for this newly developed hair problem. I have discussed all this with him several times and he gets irritated. I don’t want to lose him. Everything is fine now between us but I don’t feel he loves me like before. Sometimes I keep crying. I was very happy before. I used to be one of the best looking girls in college. I have lost friends and lost my confidence too. I feel depressed and alone. Please help me.

Ans. It is unfortunate and very sad that you have developed health problems leading to severe hair loss. You do not mention any other major physical problem except hair loss? The onset of any physical problem of a chronic nature entails many changes in your life style. You have to make some changes in your thinking and your attitudes to made appropriate adjustments in your life. Do not despair for worrying too much will also lead to further hair loss. Keep calm and quiet and patient. Get rid of all such people who have changed their outlook towards you and think of you negatively. They are not your friends anyway and have no place in your life. Do not fight with them, just forget about them. Stop crying and take charge of your life. Lead it well. Think positive and do everything that is needed to maintain good health. Best wishes.

Q. I am a student of 2nd year MBA and selected in one of the big IT company for huge package as well. Now I decided to get marry after completion of final year exam. I wanted to marry a person who fit in my criteria. I know one such person. I feel that he is perfect for me but the problem is that he don’t have job right now and he is my class mate. So now it’s not a right time for him to get marry. But I can’t wait as I am a girl then again I am ready to wait for him. He is my best friend and he shows lot of care for me. But I don’t have dared to
ask such thing as it may break our relationship. He used to say me to get marry as my family members are looking for my marriage. One more thing is that I feel that he is getting involved with one of the girl in our class and he is trying to show distance with me from the
date I got selected. He gave me a nice gift as well for my success but later, I continuously feeling that he is very upset as he don’t have job. I am not able to analyze this situation. I cannot see his behavior with that girl may be this is due to my feeling for him. He is continuously losing interest in study as well. I cannot understand what to do? I am not able to decide whether to get marry with the person suggest by parents or talk with parents about the boy I feel as a perfect partner for me? And tell me how can I express my feelings in front of him before talking to my parents. Getting job is not a big issue for him as he is an engineer with experience and now MBA. I trust on him that he will get job after completion of MBA. My parents are looking for only engineer boy for me as I am engineer but I want that he must be MBA, M.E or M.Tech.

Ans. If you like a person so much and he has all the qualifications except a job, which he will get soon enough, then you should approach him first for marriage before you allow your parents to decide. You could send word to him through a friend and wait for his reaction. He may also have feelings for you but is not expressing them. You can take a chance and then if the answer from him is negative, forget about him and go for an arranged marriage. Be prepared to accept a no from him and do not get disturbed because of that! If he agrees then you are lucky indeed! All the best to you.

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