Q. I am a Graduate Trainee Engineer. I was looking for job after my graduation and got a job after 6 months. In the beginning I didn’t get the job as per my wish. But there was a sudden change in my career. In the same job I was called by my vice president and he told me to work with the president of the company. Now I find myself to be in a satisfied position. I want to ask you what extra or what else I can do to win his heart. And I look forward to be in touch with him and I expect the increment in my salary. Recently he gave me a managerial project to work on and later he told me to present it in front of the senior executives. I gave the presentation and all were happy. Please help. Your reply is very valuable for my career.
Ans. I must say that you are lucky to have got an opportunity like this. You are rightly concerned about managing your position well so that you do justice to the job. This shows your correct attitude towards your career. You will go a very long way with this attitude. It would be important to know the purpose of your appointment for this position- there must be a role you have to play and you might the talent to fulfil that role. If you are able to understand and fulfil that job role your goal will be clear and that will serve your purpose. Of course this position also requires good soft skills. It might be a bit of a balancing act to manage all three things- the president, your colleagues and yourself. Focus on all three simultaneously with a priority on the president. Control your emotions, remain calm in all conditions, be humble and well behaved with all and do not rub people on the wrong side for there are likely to be jealous souls. You could keep improving your social and technical skills according to your assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. Upgrading yourself and adding value to your abilities will increase your competencies.
Q. I wish to tell this to someone who can really get me going, but I do not really know from where to start with. Well, I had an unsatisfactory life. I was born an introvert even more negativity was added to it by the numerous diseases that I was suffering with. I was but living happily. As I grew up, slowly and steadily, I started exploring life around me and it dawned on me that I was not confident enough to talk in front of others. I hated derision but I was so slow that it was very easy for the people to make fun of me. I had no option as those persons used to be my classmates or my relatives. Even in that case, I told them many a times to stop behaving with me in such a way. They did not heed me. I became even more aggressive. But I still had no strength and I was in no way good enough to have the same behaviour with them, not that I never wanted to, but I knew not how to. All these things lowered my self esteem. My idiocy started increasing and I started showing more queer behaviour. This made them even happier as they started getting more chances of having fun with me. I had no option and tolerated their impudence. My school life passed and I went into an engineering college where I once again met the same old friends. They had relatives to family to strangers and for that matter even any shop owner who I know that would not say a word to me till I am really idiotic. I had been suffering this fear from years and though I have worked hard to find a way out of it in vain. I wish you would be kind enough suggest me ways to come out of it. I feel utterly insensitive these days.
Ans. Life is generally harsh for all but some- times it is harsher for a few. You seem to have borne all the suffering well enough to pass your graduation in engineering. That shows your strength of mind- you need not fear anything now that you are grown up. Building a good career, focusing on developing extra skills in technical areas and soft skills will help you gain your confidence in self. Being an introvert is fine – there is no need to become extroverted. The one thing that is needed is to be competent, bold, assertive, and dedicated to your work. If there are irrational fears that bother you then counselling would be recommended. There could be more to your problem than the obvious.
Published in The Hitavada – Emotions for 17 October 2010