Q. My name is Nisha, I am 20 years old. My father died 2 years back and my mother and me have been through a lot. Being a single child I was always pampered and loved and all of that but now because of this incidence, I feel my mother never recovered and she has not paid attention towards me since, I feel very lonely as I don’t understand to whom to talk to. Sometimes there is severe anxiety, because of which I am not able to study or do anything, and at that time i think I should leave and go somewhere else. One of my friend she started taking this stuff called ‘heroin’ and asked me if I could try, I resisted at first but then I took it anyway and it felt good as if every pain, sadness have gone. And then I started taking it often and that’s how I became drug addict. My mother was not aware about any of this things and she never really showed any interest. But when it really got on my nerves I felt I need help and then I finally confessed to my mom. She was shocked and shattered and started blaming me for everything. She beat me, abused and grounded me and never let me out of house or anywhere. She thinks I don’t need any medical assistance and I will get better like that. And now she controls me and wants me to do what she wants. Please help me what should I do?
Ans- I am sorry to hear your story and that now you have become a drug addict. It is brave of you to come out with your story and seek help. There are solutions for all types of problems, if you are keen and motivated to solve them. I would advise you seek counseling and then go for systematic drug rehabilitation programme. If you are in Nagpur we can help you, otherwise look for facilities in your own city. If your mother is uncooperative, seek help from a relative, grandparents or otherwise a good friend. Since you are now 20 years old and an adult you should be responsible for your own decisions about your treatment. Your mother should not beat you and abuse you and if she does that again, threaten her that you will report it to the police. There is Child Helpline No. 1098, where you can call for help and guidance free of cost. Please do not feel that you are alone in this world and helpless. Take action, get yourself treated, complete your studies and build a good career, you can always lead a good life in spite of all problems. I wish you all the best for a fast recovery.
Q. I am from Delhi and I live in a join family, mother-in-law, father-in-law, my husband’s brother (unmarried), me, my husband and two children- a girl (two years), a boy (twelve years). Actually I am facing a problem with my boy who has started behaving absurd from a month, he throws things in the house aggressively without any reason, he does not want to go to school, he is often ill- headache, body pain, we visited the doctor and it came out that he has no problem internally. I asked him hundreds of time what has happened to him but he never spoke about it, in turn he always gave back answers and has become out of control. I spoke to his teachers and principal but I have not got desired answers. There is this counselor at his school and we visited her and as we entered her office, Nihar ran away and we both ran behind him, he was so fast none of us could catch him. I don’t understand how to tackle this situation. Please help!
Ans- I can understand your situation as a mother, of a going to be teenager with behavioral problems. We would need a thorough investigation and assessment of his abilities and problem areas. Sometimes behavior problems can be a manifestation of an underlined or unidentified disorder. Since you live in Delhi, I would advise you to consult a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist. You could also consult a Clinical Psychologist who can do all the psychometric assessments that are needed. I am sure once the problem is identified and diagnosed we will be able to check the behavior of your child and put him on a constructive path. Do not delay for he is in his pre-teen years which is a critical period of development. Mental health issues should never be kept hanging for things escalate and become more complex. We can offer you an online consultation too.