“Nip it in the bud” 31 July 2022


Q. I am 30 years old & I am from Mumbai, and I want to share a matter regarding my mother. I have grown up in a very happy environment. While growing up I always have seen my mother and father as a happy couple. They have been an example of loving couple for so many years. I have never ever felt a bit of discomfort or any problems among them. Last year my mother and father got divorced and it was really surprising and at the same time disheartening for our family and friends to see such a wonderful couple setting their path in different ways. For 29 years none of us felt there was any issue or something going on. At the time for divorce all of us had a meeting and asked reasons for the divorce but no one got the reliable answer for that. After all this it was difficult for me to comprehend the situation and it was really shocking and I felt so bad for my mom and dad as well and I use to think all the time what might be the reason for their separation. My mom by then became little introvert and use to talk less. I didn’t really realize that she was in some trauma and it had impacted her behavior on such a severe level. One day I took my mother to a restaurant, we ordered our food and were waiting for it to arrive, till then I started talking with my mom but she only gave answers when asked something. Then our first order arrived it was, “French Fries with Tomato Sauce” and suddenly the sauce spilled on the table by the waiter’s hand and my mother she took the sauce in her hand and started laughing and showing the sauce in her hand to all of the people sitting around the restaurant. I took her to Psychiatrist and she put her on some medication but I see no changes in her. Please help me out.

Ans. Sometimes, psychiatric problems take time to resolve. Your mother should continue the treatment on a regular basis and visit the psychiatrist as per his guidance. If she is willing for counselling along with the medicine it would be a good idea to start it together with the medicines. It is unfortunate your father decided to divorce his wife instead of taking care of her and treating her. The family support and care is important for recovery. Take care of your mother and keep a watch on her that she takes her treatment properly. s


Q. I have heard so much about you and really want to meet you one day. Today I am going to talk about my niece who is 16 years old, now in 10th std. She is a lovely child & very intelligent. She has always topped her classes and always been into limelight no matter which competition of School. She is not only good in studies but dancing, singing, drawing and what not. A month back there was a phone call from School and the parents were called to talk urgently. It was complaint about my niece and we were all really stunned that what this girl, who is such a marvelous child may have done. So we were told that she has badly beaten a girl of her own class and the reason was of her incomplete work. This reason really seemed very abnormal for one to beat someone in such a way. Since then she has kept her mouth shut and not speaking to anyone. We asked her in every possible way that what had happened but no answer. I told her mother and father to see a Psychiatrist or Psychologist but they are not ready. What can be done now? Please help!       

Ans. She would need psychological help and you have rightly pointed out to meet a mental health professional. A psychologist would be a better person to evaluate and assess her mental status and if the need be the psychologist would refer to the psychiatrist. Sudden onset of an abnormal act or behavior speaks of underlying emotional disturbances. This should not be ignored for it might escalate. Keep a watch on her behavior and keep suggesting psycho-therapy. One day they may realize the wisdom of your suggestion and act on it. It is better to nip it in the bud.

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