Q. I am a 19 year old girl. I like a guy from my college and he liked me too. After a year he suddenly started behaving differently and asked me to move on. I tried asking him many a times what’s wrong but he said he doesn’t know. And he wants to keep the friendship but I am not able to stay normal with him. Now, he and my best friend hang out together very often. I feel they like each other but they said there is nothing more than friendship. And I am getting hurt because I really love him and I can’t see both of them together. I constantly feel there is something between them. Should I trust them? This has been going on for more than 2 months and Ii have started feeling depressed and helpless. Please tell me what should I do. I don’t want to lose my best friends because of my insecurities. But I can’t see them together.
Ans. No, you should not trust them. They are lying to you and that is fine in human relationships. You can get ditched and it is nothing unusual. Your two best friends like each others company and you are really out of it. They are being polite to you for the sake of not being rude. Of courses do not be sure that this new friendship will last forever for this may also have a shelf live and will eventually die away. We cannot predict much in relationships. You should have been more sensitive to the signs that your male friend was giving you earlier which might have slipped your attention. Anyway, it is best to move on with your life in the best possible manner and make the best use of the time available with you. Be positive and optimistic and creative in your interests for the future. Make a great career for yourself and find a new circle of friends and do not get intimate with them. Just keep a safe and friendly distance from all those you know. Best of luck.
Q. I am 24 years old female. I have hard time sleeping at night. I am night owl . I don’t sleep early and I get up very late. Till 5 in the morning I am awake literally doing nothing. Because of this reason I have bad dark circles also which looks ugly considering that my skin is very fair. I try sleeping early but no matter what I do I stay awake only till mid night. I sometimes even sleep by 7 in morning at get up by 12. This has led me to physical problems. I always feel tired and dizzy. I don’t feel like eating food or going out anymore. I feel very lazy and restless. Please suggest me some tips to sleep early at night.
Ans. This is a disturbance in your sleep patterns and a bad habit developed over a specific time. You need to set it right by setting a new pattern and following it diligently for a week. It then sets in as a new habit and your sleep cycle gets organised. Consult a psychologist or a doctor for this. It is not impossible and can be rectified. The idea is not to sleep during the day at all and sleep early such as 9 pm and stay there in bed trying to sleep, without indulging in any other activity such as reading, TV etc. Set an alarm at 6 am and get up even with difficulty. Get busy with some work and get into a schedule. Try it or else seek a consultation.
Q. I am 40 years old female. I have two daughters. One is 18 and other one is 22. My elder daughter is very happy and jolly person. She talks to everyone without feeling shy or anything. I don’t like that fact. I feel that if she will talk like this to random people it might create a problem in her life. She even laughs and talks to auto drivers or workers. She is very pretty. Many guys try to woo her. I am very concerned about her. I feel that someone will create some problem into her life. I don’t know what to do and how to make her explain. You will be best person to suggest her and make her understand. Please let me know when can I bring her?
Ans. Please bring her for counselling as per your convenience. You are right that an overly extroverted nature can send wrong signals to people who are waiting to catch it! I am sure as an adult she must be careful and smart enough to know what she doing with others. Your anxiety is normal but do not get over anxious about it too. Talk to her more about her career and hobbies and other interests and get her involved in creative activities. She needs perhaps more focus and a clarity about her goals in life.