“Negotiate with parents”- 10 June 2018.

DW

Q. I am a student currently studying in UK, my hometown is Nagpur. It has been very difficult for me to come back and live with my parents again after this time apart. I am too use to my freedom, privacy and living on my own terms. I am finding it very difficult to adjust at home. They are constantly nagging me for everything I do and it is making me despise them. What do I do?

Ans. You are right about problems in adjusting. You could try to negotiate with your parents in a way which they understand. When you live with parents they wish to be informed about your whereabouts and your schedules. So it would be better if you inform them what your schedules are going to be like and what is the time you would like to spend at home. Also make it a point to spend some time with them and in a happy manner. Parents like the company of their children and also like to enjoy time with them. They need to be loved and cared for too in reciprocation to caring for you. Engage them in anecdotes of UK and life abroad. If you satisfy their need to be loved and respected I can assure you they might leave you alone for the rest of the day! But you should negotiate that- it is a skill that is helpful- you could try to develop that.

DK

Q. I am 32 years old married lady working as a teacher. I am interested in doing social work. I want to open an NGO or join one but I live in a town where NGOs are not that prominent I am mainly interested to help women and work for their empowerment. When I discuss it with my relatives, they don’t take me seriously but I really want to do something for the people and the society. Please guide me and help me fulfil my dream.

Ans. An NGO needs to be registered at the charity Commissioners office and needs a board of directors. Look for a team who can serve on the board and also a team of workers who would be willing to work with you on the field. Take the help of a lawyer who can explain the requirements and get your registration done eventually. Such work is very good and needs to be done in our country. Joining an NGO is also a good alternative. Search for one in your area (you do not mention your city) or nearby and get going. Women empowerment can be done in many ways, by development of skills, education, or micro-credit for small business. Another idea could be running a counselling centre for their personal hassles and family issues. Social support for women is needed and women should stand up for themselves and form a strong collective and community. Unity is strength.

Anonymous.

Q. I am a 12th pass out student from CBSE with 70% . I had dropped Maths and opted for bio since I was preparing For NEET. My expected score in NEET is around 250. Now my parents want me to pursue BAMS.  But I personally do not have any interest in Ayurveda. Due to my family problems I want to choose something which will allow me to earn as soon as possible. I am thinking of opting B.Com along with preparing parallely for C.S from a private institute. After completing my Bachelor’s degree I can give some banking exams and get some job there to afford at least my expenses. Then there will still be 2 years remaining for my C.S course to complete. So then I’ll do MBA. After an year or two of getting a job as C.S I’ll start preparing for CAT to pursue FPM from IIM.  This is my plan.  But my parents are worried that I wouldn’t be able to handle commerce since it is a mathematical field.  I too fear maths, I was very weak in geometry but I had very good score in algebra in 10th plus I feel I Can do it.  Also my parents feel that I shouldn’t go in commerce leaving science stream as commerce is of very low level. I want to put something which gives assurance of high income in less time.  Please suggest me what should I do.

Ans. It is a good plan and you can go ahead with commerce. The maths in commerce is mostly statistics and not higher maths of science. You will be able to do the bit about maths. Please do not do any course that does not attract you. The banking sector after commerce graduation is a great field and they prefer candidates with C.A/C.S or even MBA with finance. You seem to have thought it through properly and if you are confident you can achieve it I am sure I would repose my faith in you! I wish you all the best!