“Playing games is dishonest”- 3 June 2018


Q. I did my 12th grade with PCM as core subjects. But I have discovered that my passion lies in human psychology. I know we can take psychology courses without biology but I want to further pursue psychiatry. Can I do that? Please help me here. Can I study to become a psychiatrist without biology? I also want to do that abroad in Germany. Is that a possibility? Your help would be deeply appreciated.

Ans. Psychiatry is a post graduate medical degree after MBBS which cannot be done without biology. Psychology can be done without biology and is open to any student from any branch at the 12 Std level. Psychology has many branches but it seems that you are interested in clinical psychology. To become a fully trained clinical psychologist you need seven years of study, beginning from undergraduate programme of three years to two years of post graduation and to another two years of clinical psychology from a mental institute which is a residential programme. A session will help in clarifying finer points.


Q. I am a homosexual. Still I was happy and calm till my break up with a guy. Also, I thought that my mother will be broken when she will come to know about my sexual orientation. To balance my mental trauma I decided to take spiritual advice and so I started going ISKCON, Chinmaya Mission, Dharmadhikari Pratishthan, etc. After taking spiritual advises I successfully controlled my lust and my trauma was gone. I was again on a good track as far as my career is concerned. Moreover I developed good feelings in every aspect. Now, my family knows that I go to spiritual centres they think that those monks would convert me to one of them. So they stopped me for going there. Actually none of the monks of spiritual centres do any kind of such things, but rumours! Since then I don’t practice spirituality anymore. I am getting wet dreams every night. Porn videos are again my fantasy. In fact it started chatting with some guys also. I know this is not wrong, but because of feelings I got from spiritual centres I think my mother will be totally broken if she finds me with a man. My maternal uncle’s family which sacrificed their privacy for me would be broken if they encounter me with a man. I can control my lust, but I need spiritual advise as I can’t afford psychologists. Now I am totally broken down. I don’t know what is happening with me, but something wrong is happening with me. Should I come out, and tell my family that I am a gay. Or else?

Ans. The choices are two- one is to curb your orientation and compromise with the traditional and accepted norms of behaviour. Taking recourse to spirituality is the best route and essential for all humanity to settle their desires and emotions. I don’t understand why your parents dissuaded you from going spiritual- they should have been happy instead that their child is on the right path. Even they had objected and discouraged there was no need for you to stop believing and following their principles? Even without visiting the temple you can read their books and practice them. The second alternative is to come out in the open about your orientation with your family and subsequently society and live the life you wish boldly and conviction. This requires guts to survive without support for some time and live with disdain and ridicule from family and society. Your family will also face the brunt of the community and outsiders. If you can do this and sustain it, then go ahead and join the community of rebels and fight for your rights. The choice is yours.


Q.  I am a Lab technician. I met with a doctor, liked his nature & added him on facebook. While chatting once I asked him some personal questions (family, hobbies) which annoyed him & he stopped taking to me. But now before 3-4 days of my scheduled visit (hospital) he disables his facebook account & activates on that specific (visit) day. He always comes online when I come, goes offline when I go. When he sees first he ignores me then smiles like mad when I talk, repeats sentences what I say. I am confused regarding all this. Please guide.

Ans. You are right that he is a confused man and takes pleasure in playing games. It is like a game of ‘hide and seek’ and he seems to be enjoying it. People who are dishonest and cowards and cannot come out in straight talk, play games with others. Their motives are suspect and hence cannot be trusted. Do not expect much from him in terms of honesty and a good friendship. If you can enjoy this game for some time you may play your part too, otherwise if it too much for you, you may stop it from your side. That will give him a clear message at least that have no intentions of wasting your time with him. If you go on he may read any type of messages from it.

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