Q. I am 27 year old female. I am very worried about getting married. It’s not that I am in relationships or in love with someone. I just don’t find someone worth getting married to. If I see people near me and when I listen to stories of people getting assaulted, domestic violence it terrifies me. Coming from a well educated family I know that this is something which I cannot tolerate. Help me to get rid away of this fear which has developed in my mind from very young age.
Ans. You are right about being worried about the nature of the man whom you will marry. Normally a lot of investigations need to be done about the nature and personality of the groom. If he has a bad temper or has bad habits then you could reject such proposals downright. But all men are not like that. There is a good breed of men who believe in behaving well and treating women with respect. A man who has good relationship with his mother and father may be a gentleman. I cannot generalise behaviour for all sorts of combinations are present in this world. But I can understand your plight about getting caught with the wrong partner. If you come from a well educated family, let them take the responsibility of finding the right match for you especially your father can play a good role here. You also may be right that this is a sub-conscious fear that you are tackling for some years. This would require a few counselling sessions to understand it and get rid of it. All men are not rascals and therefore we cannot throw out the baby with the bathwater as they say! You will find the right match for yourself some day.
Q. I am 22 years old girl and I really like guy who is 19. I have serious crush on him and he also likes me. He only proposed me and first I used to think that falling in love with someone who is 19 is wrong idea as this thing society doesn’t accepts but I don’t know what to do. We both like each other a lot and we have lots of fun together. Whenever we are around each other we laugh like crazy and have amazing time. Please suggest me what is wrong and what is not. I really like this guy.
Ans. Three years does not make a great difference in age. The only consideration that may obstruct your future progress, if at all you two are getting serious about each other, is his career making. He may have his education to complete and you may have to wait for him if your parents allow you. I think you guys should enjoy this friendship while it lasts and then go your way if at all you are to separate. Age is never a problem but the life-stage that both of you are in may create a difference. You may be finishing your post graduation and he is yet to graduate. So talk it out or wait for things to happen. On the whole you two should take it easy and enjoy the moment and be happy.
Q. I am very confused about my career. I don’t like maths and hate science. I like social studies and English. My parents feel I should take science till 12 std and then decide my future course of study. I am terrified of maths and science and feel depressed thinking that I will have to study it for another two years. How to explain to my parents? Is science so important that I cannot do anything in life without it? Please help me. I feel trapped and helpless. No one understands me and I am getting bad thoughts all day. Please help.
Ans. Career planning is a very serious issue and lots of planning goes into making the right choice of life. Choosing a wrong career spoils time, money and leads to failure. If we need success we need to understand your aptitude, your personality and interest areas and then make career choices. Besides science there are numbers of career options open to students now-a-days. Medicine, engineering and accountancy are not the only options for students. The best way to convince your parents and for you to make the best choice is to appear for the aptitude test which covers the other areas as well and gives you best results in career choices. It throws up a number of careers that can be discussed. We have aptitude tests that you can appear online from the comfort of your home. Kindly get in touch with me for details. It is best way when in confusion. Your parents will also get convinced.