“Patience Pays”- 6 January 2013


Q. I’m 16 years old and going through such a phase that I feel like hell. I choose PCB as my subject just because my parents wanted it. I can’t really say they forced me to but did nothing less than that. Every field that I told I was interested in wasn’t their choice, instead they told me that sought of careers can be taken side options first do something BIG. It’s not like they are bad but just impose duties on me and have a lot of expectations whose weight now I am not able to withstand. My younger sister has a terrible disease and thus being elder one everybody expect something BIG from me. My interest in studying is fading away and I just want to leave everything and ran away. Else then this I love a guy who is a celebrity now. I pretended to be a male on chats so he can talk to me frankly and even because I liked him. But now he has a girlfriend and I am just like any other fan for him. He has a girlfriend now and I feel completely shattered to see them together. Though I tried to move on made my mind to find someone else but I am just not able to even he lives damn from me. It’s only ME who’s the creator of these stupid stuff but I never wanted it. I feel like committing suicide but my morals tell me it’s a coward’s deed. Please tell me what to do?

Ans. You have a long life ahead. Please do not despair so much. You can always change your subjects since you say that your parents have not forced you exactly. It is possible that you take the pressure that they give you by way of their expectations from you. Parents will expect from children but it is up to you to take it or not and if it does not suit you please do not take it. It is better to reject what is bothersome for you rather than comply with their feelings and feel suicidal about it. You need to assert yourself in this matter. Career making is a very personal thing and you should choose what you love doing. Come for career guidance and bring your parents along. About your personal life- just forget about the fellow. You will meet many interesting guys and one of them will love you surely. Have patience!


Q. I am in a relationship with a guy since one and half years. We both love each other very much with a genuine heart. I am studying B.SC 1st year and he is doing his BE in MECHANICAL. Now he is in last year doing well we both but due to one thing that is his (my boyfriend) caste is SC and I belongs to kunbi (obc ). My parents will not going to allow me for marriage with him and we both want to do  with each other but if my parents refuse for marriage  than I am not going to marry with another guy. I will stay single and after 5 years we are going to think about our wedding so how can we convince to our parents and specially mine. Because they use to tell me daily that if you will find life partner than find of our caste I will not allow SC guy. Ma’am please help me that how I am going to convince my parents. Please help me in this matter

Ans. This is a difficult situation. Your parents may never agree if they are so adamant. You and your friend will have to take a decision whether you would like to go ahead without parental approval and whether his parents will accept you or not. If he agrees you could marry against the wishes of your parents but remember to weigh all the pros and cons of doing so. Many regret later. That should not happen. So be very sure about it. But you still have a long way to graduate so why worry now about it. Just work hard, build a career and once you are independent you will be in a mature state of mind to take the right decision. Wait patiently for few years!

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