“Perils of social media” 21 January 2024

Anjuman Fatima 

Q. My senior – trainer during session showed special interest for me- we became friends. Once I admired his looks- he said he feels awkward and told he is homosexual. Till then I stopped contacting him because I had feelings for him as normal girl has for boy. Now he became possessive about my social media status, my family etc. I’m moving for another guy but he is not letting me go by emotional tantrums. Please suggest what has to be done.

Ans. One way to handle it is to delete your social media account for some time till he gets rid of his obsession. Block him or change the privacy settings of your social media account- ask an expert how to do that. Get off the media is the best thing. You can survive without it I am sure. The second best is to report the matter to the cyber cell of your city and tell them the details. They will trace him and take punitive action against him. Every police cell has a cyber security cell and matters can be reported to them. That should take care. No need to feel guilty or scared if you have done no wrong. It also seems that he may not be a homosexual and may be lying or else he is a bisexual person and posing as a homosexual to put off the commitment need. What people say and what they do in their life is different. Such ambiguous and dubious behavior is on the rise. Its pathological but so be it. 


Q. I met a woman online and we became friends. She after long time chatting told that she lives in another city and called me over. After much thought and questions of my doubts she again called me. I was foolish to listen to her. I cannot tell all that happened. She now blackmails me and asks for money. She was so sweet and good natured. I thought she was the best person for me. I am a young man and she was posing as a young woman but she turned out to be much older. She is very bad lady and this has made me to lose my confidence and courage. I cannot sleep at night and feel scared. I tried many times to plead with her and tell her my problems. She does not listen.                                         

Ans. Such incidents are on the increase. People create fake identities and pose as whatever they like as. They are out to trap innocent persons ‘looking for friendships, companionships and love’. They are smart and patient players and inevitably people fall into the trap. This is very unfortunate and the numbers are on the rise unfortunately. We must be aware of the pros and cons of social media and play very safe. Courses on ‘digital citizenship and digital maturity’ are being curated and taught. Just learning the basics of using the media and getting active on it without being aware of the perils and thereby taking due precautions is not the wisest thing to do. Social media can be used for many good and safe purposes and certainly not for very personal and intimate usage. That should be the last on your aims. Report the matter to the cyber security cell and stop the blackmail.  

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