“Personality disorders lead to faulty behaviours”- 16 November 2014.
V. R
Q. I am a student of class 10. I am not good in studies as I have got only 60% in my first term. I want to die because I make my mother and father upset. Sometimes I always try to do my best in studies but I always fail in that. In my class there is a beautiful girl and I am obsessed with that girl and my friends are class toppers but only I am such a dick. Please give me some suggestion so that I could concentrate on my studies and not on girls. Girls are not the cause of my failure but I am I don’t know why I can’t remember things which are told by my mom and dad.
Ans. You can develop the art of concentration with guidance and practice. Once you learn the art of concentration your interest in studies will go up and so will your performance too in exams. Meanwhile focus on studies and your future career. When you seriously set a future goal for yourself and dream about it to make it a reality you will begin to enjoy your studies. A few sessions of concentration practices will help you learn the methods.
Prajakta.
Q. I am BCCA (B.Com. with computer application) final year student. But I found that I am not so good at this course because the technical portion (computer application) of this course is difficult for me. Somehow I will manage to pass the final year exam. But what should I do next so that I could make my career better. Please guide me some vocational or job oriented courses or anything that would help me to set up my own occupation. Please help.
Ans. You might drop the computer aspect once you graduate and take up the line of accounts and commerce. Either you can get into the courses of Chartered Accountancy or Company Secretary directly or you could pursue diplomas in financial accounts which will be short term courses. You could also pursue M.B.A with finance as specialisation which gives you a very good career ahead in industries. After graduation you could also apply for banks and other government sectors. All this requires more serious thought and planning which takes into account your talents, aspiration, interests and personality. A session on career guidance with me is suggested.
Anonymous.
Q. There are 8 members in family, my mummy papa, 2 brothers their wives, and a nephew who is 1.5yr old. Nobody has problem with anyone at home. But problem is regarding my big sister in law who is aggressive, short tempered, doubtful, always shouting and screaming for small or no reasons. She is not ready to adjust herself at home nor with her husband and child. For small reasons she get aggressive and fights with anyone, also with her husband till midnight & says I don’t want to live here & runs out of the house, even threatens that she will commit suicide. Her & mine mummy, papa also pampers her & asks to change her behavior but she is not ready to listen to anyone. She doesn’t do daily chores at home, wakes up late & watch T.V. Even she teases her child who is just 1.5yr old and not able to speak & says that he complaints to family members about her mother. She has habit of stealing and lying. She gets too much happy seeing her past proposals and goes to talk to them for no reasons. She wants to get separate but as she can’t adjust with her husband & child we can’t do this. So please advise us what to do.
Ans. It seems that your sister in law has a personality disorder or a mental condition that needs to be addressed. She may be behaving like this due to that condition. Try talking to your brother to bring her for counselling and he could suggest marriage counselling for both of them together. We must evaluate and diagnose the nature of the problem and then help her and the family. One member with a faulty personality or an illness can upset the harmony of the family. But there is hope to help the couple understand each other and try to take care of each other.
