Q. I have not done well in my exams and I am not sure what I will do. My parents have high expectations from me and I am not interested in studies much. I like drawing and dancing and acting and all such things. I hate science and maths but they feel that I must science as it is the best thing to do. They say art and dance is useless and will make my life useless. They feel only stupid people do all that. They are against such things. What to do ma’am –I am very confused and depressed and feel like running away. Please advise me.
Ans. Please relax your mind and do not do anything in haste that will disturb your future. It is perfectly okay to like dancing and drawing and acting –it means that you are artistic and would prefer the performing arts as your career. Your parents may have some expectations from you and may want you to do science but that is not an absolute necessity. You must as a family actually think seriously about your career and make the best choice for you. A long healthy discussion with an open mind can help. Alternately, you could request your parents to get your aptitude tested and then decide on the choices. After the test we counsel you and your parents and a reasonable and happy solution can be arrived at. Do not despair but do persist in your career choices.
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Q. I love a colleague but she is engaged to another person. We work in the same office since many years and I think she likes me too. I was thinking of telling her my feelings but I was afraid and was thinking that I will settle down first in my job and then tell her. She is a very nice person and does not like talking to boys and making friends. So I was scared of her but she talks very nicely to me. I made a mistake by waiting for so long and now she told me that she is engaged to be married by next year. Should I now tell her? What will be the right thing to do? If she gets angry she will stop the friendship.
Ans. Yes, you could try telling her your feelings if you are absolutely sure that you want to marry her and was waiting for the right moment. You could send a message through a trusted friend and see her reaction which could be either positive or negative. Please be prepared for both types of responses. If she is positive about it you should approach her and propose her. Your life would be happy and rosy. Give it a good shot before giving up.
Q. I am very shy and reserved type of girl. I hesitate to talk to boys and even new people whom I meet. My mind goes blank many times when I am with friends and they all tease me. One boy likes me a lot and wants to make friends with me but I do not look at him. I want to be bold and confident like some other girls and I feel bad about myself. Please help me. Is there a way that I can improve myself? Do I need medicines or something? Am I sick?
Ans. You have a shy and introverted personality. Social shyness is a common trait in many people and it can be overcome to a large extent. It is like a skill that can be taught to you through behaviour modification techniques. I am regularly conducting personality enhancing programmes for all age groups. You could come even for individual sessions and complete the programme. You would need a few sessions depending upon the level of your shyness. You do not have any sickness or medical disease. It is a type of personality and a trait that is bothersome. You could try self improvement by changing your behaviour but it is better to come for training and counselling. I assure you that you can become bold and confident like your other friends. All the best!