“Learning deficits can be overcome”- 13 May 2012

Q. I am going through a very difficult phase of my life. I am an average student of 12th bio science. My parents have high hopes from me as I am their only child. They want me to crack the pre- medical tests and also to be a successful doctor but I want to become a supermodel and also try my luck in films. And I am pretty sure and confident that if I get an opportunity I’ll definitely make my name big in the fashion industry as I have all those qualities of becoming a model. But listening to my parents depresses me. I have never talked to them about it nor I have told to any of my friends. I keep thinking of it every day and it worries me that what I will be in future. I don’t want to live my life with a compromise. Please help me ma’am!

Ans. The fashion industry exists only in metropolitan cities and there is not much scope in smaller cities and towns. The second factor is that you may need good contacts to get introduced to the big brands. This means that you need to re-locate to a metropolitan city of your choice and stay there and also need lots of money to support yourself and your needs for everything. Making contacts is another area of tremendous effort. You would need the help of your parents in this case. Another option could be doing a course that brings you closer to fashion such as B.Tech in cosmetology and joining a branded company as an executive (such as Laxme’ or La Oreal etc) or a course of fashion technology through NIFT and working in the garment industry. If you have the talent and the opportunity you could get in touch with the fashion industry and try your luck. You must talk this out with a parent or a friendly relative who can convince your parents or then come for counselling and career guidance.

Mrs. K. Raipur.

Q.  My son who is 5 years old- does not like to read and write. He goes to a good school and likes to play with his friends and sit in class. He likes the school and enjoys play but as it comes to study he is not willing. He does not disturb the class and sits quietly. The teacher has told me to do something. What is wrong with my son? Does he have a psychological problem? Can he be helped with counselling? Please help me ma’am understand him. Should I come to Nagpur to meet you?

Ans. Your son probably has what is called as a ‘learning disability’. It is a condition where children might have deficits in brain functioning in specific areas that interfere in learning skills either in reading, writing, comprehension, grammar, languages, arithmetic etc. The degree of disability needs to be assessed and then handled through special education. The child needs to be trained through special methods to handle his weaknesses. The intelligence needs to be assessed too to know the level of intellectual capacity.  It is good that he enjoys school and likes to attend it to play and meet his friends. Psychological consultation and tests are essential –delay will not help as the deficits multiply. Do not worry for if there is a problem there is a remedy.

ABC, Amravati.

Q. I am in depression. I do not feel like doing any work and going to college. I love one girl deeply and she loves me too. She told her parents about me and they have stopped her from talking to me. We were happy with each other and had decided to marry after setting out careers. She is a good girl and I too was having good studies. Now she is avoiding me and not picking my calls. I have lost interest in life and feel like committing suicide. I have no one to share problems as my family is broken one. My father married twice and my mother keeps crying and sister is married. This girl understands me a lot and helps me. I do not have anyone to love me and care for me. If she does not come into my life I will commit suicide. Please help me and advise me properly.

Ans. Marriage should take place only when you are matured and independent in your mind. If you are depressed and feel suicidal then please seek psychological consultation soon and treat yourself. Your friend must be avoiding you due to pressure from her family. She must be also distressed as she is unable to meet you and talk to you. If you commit suicide you are adding to her further unhappiness and trouble to her life. If you act bravely and bear the bad times, it will pass and both of you can get together again. Nothing is permanent in life. Have patience and be optimistic. First be brave and bold to face life with all its colours.

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