“Psychological problems manifest in different ways”- 25 August 2013


Q. I am a second year student and I am in a relationship from past 2 years. My boyfriend is loving and caring too but sometimes he acts weird. Whenever we meet he just wants my phone he starts checking it as if I am with some other guy. He does not want me to keep friends. He restricts me in all the ways he can. I made him understand that I am not with any other boy but he still doubts on me. Because of him I am losing my friends. I neither want to lose him nor my friends. What should I do?

Ans. Yes, he is weird as you say, so very correctly. This is a type of mental disorder and needs attention and treatment. But before we decide that it is mental problem you should think honestly if you have given him any reasons for doubting you? If he has reasons for doubting you and suspecting you because he has lost trust in you due to something about your past, then he is not weird at all but insecure. If you are correct in your behaviour in all ways and your values in social relationships then he is at fault and would need some sessions of counselling. You could bring him at some pretext and we could address the problem. If his suspicions get unbearable and he refuses counselling, you might think of quitting the friendship. The suffering will be more than the happiness otherwise.


Q. I am an 18-year old girl. I face problems in doing actions in sequence, like climbing stairs, marching, aerobics etc. Suddenly in the midst of the act I get confused and skip a step or put two steps together and go out of coordination. I always check multiple times whether I have closed a door or switched off an appliance because I don’t remember. Is this plain absent-mindedness or should I seek medical help?

Ans. You should seek psychological help as it seems like an anxiety disorder which interferes with your normal functioning. It must be disturbing your studies as well. We can help you calm your mind and be more relaxed about yourself and about doing normal chores. The reasons are mostly unconscious and need to be explored. There are factors that lead to such disturbances and can be remedied. Please request your parents to bring you for counselling as soon as possible.


Q. I am an engineering student studying in Electrical branch. My problem is that I have my own self assumed, self created, self portrayed predefined world of imagination which I have created for myself over the period of 3 years. I drive myself in that world and wish that everything should go as I wish which practically has never happened and also will not happen in future. I am extremely overambitious, overconfident and dreamy which has boosted my ego. I know that I have the potential, resources but I lack dedication, passion and hard work. I under-estimate others. Please suggest me ways to crash my ego and overconfidence so that the world comes crashing down and I end up with a clean slate and I can start off writing from there.


Ans. It is good to know that you are aware of your problems and want a solution. That it has been bothering you for the last three years is a very long period. You have been continuing with your studies and are in a professional course is good to know. You have done a fairly accurate assessment of your problems and state of mind but cannot help yourself in sorting them out. You must have worked hard to analyse yourself with its strengths and weaknesses and realise that you need help. This by itself is a great achievement. Self realisation is half the solution and the other half lies in implementing the changes in your thoughts and deeds. Such a problem as you mention lies in your thinking and your tendency to drift away from reality into a world of fantasy. You are an intelligent person and certainly can get cured of this state of mind. Some sessions of counselling will help you do that.

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