“Addictions need to be treated” -22 December 2013


Q. My son aged 14 is addicted to internet and facebook. He has lost interest in his studies and his marks are going down. He gets angry at small things and does not listen to us. He hates us and has begun to hit me too. I am depressed and very worried about my child. I feel guilty and wonder how I have failed as a mother and a parent. My husband blames me too for pampering him as he is our only child. Please show me some hope.

Ans. This seems to be a growing phenomenon. Addictions to internet and mobile and facebook are on the rise. Children need to be disciplined about this and need to be kept away from these things. Sometimes parents do pamper their only child with all sorts of facilities even if they do not need them. Anyway his symptom of getting aggressive and hitting you is certainly above the normal level of bad behaviour and needs correction immediately. Kindly bring him for few sessions of counselling and assessment. It may not be simply addiction but something more than that. It could be some sort of emotional problem. Do not get depressed and do not delay. We will take care of him.


Q.  I have a boy friend and we love each other. I feel since some days that he is attracted to another girl from his neighbourhood. It has upset me a great amount and I cannot study or sleep. He is still good to me and says he loves me. He has started talking to the girl many times now and many times his phone is busy when I call him. We are both in college and are good in studies. We are committed to each other for life but now I do not feel well and feel depressed and sad. My interest in studies is going down too. What should I do ma’am? Please help me.

Ans. You need to calm your mind down and relax. Ask him your doubts and believe what he says. Do not spoil your mood by jealousy and over possessiveness. He can have friends in spite of you but what is important to know is whether they are meeting alone and chatting about very personal things. There are some unwritten norms about committed relationships. Friends are allowed but intimacy is not allowed. Meeting alone is not allowed. If your boyfriend is doing this then you need to re-think your relationship and break off if needed. If he is just friendly and talks to her once in a while but not daily then it is fine. You have to make an assessment of how close he is to her, what do they talk about and do they meet alone and how frequently. That would give you your answer of what you should be doing about the relationship. Otherwise  relax and take it easy.


Q. My son is having problems with his education since 2nd Std. What should I do? Do I go to a psychiatrist or show him to doctor? Please guide me what to do?


Ans. Any educational problem of a child is dealt by a psychologist and more specifically a school psychologist. We would evaluate the Intelligence level of the child first and then find out the possibility of a specific learning disorder. Once the child is evaluated for his strengths and weaknesses we could arrive at a diagnosis and treat the child with counselling and remedial education. Please do not despair. When there are problems there are solutions too.

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