“Strike the balance”- 21 December 2014.
Q. I am a final year student and am going through lots of stress. I used to top earlier when was in school but now I can’t focus on my studies. I was never a social person but when I went to college I made lots of new friends. That’s when my studies started getting affected. I was bunking classes and going for movies and enjoying outings. Now I want to go back to studies but find it hard to do so. Now I am feeling depressed and lonely again. What is my true nature I am not able to understand? Should I make friends or not? Should I just focus on studies or what? How should I treat my friends? Please answer my questions as I am very depressed.
Ans. Stress during your final year is okay, everyone feels it. As of friends, I believe that friendships have nothing to do with studies as long as one doesn’t go overboard. Friends provide us the enjoyment and relaxation we need in our spare time because all work and no play makes us dull. You should curb your activities like bunking and not just think of ending relationships. Treat your friends well but focus on your priorities, your studies. We all are multi-faceted and play different roles according to which our nature varies. You should maintain your relations for a balanced life but keep your focus intact on your studies because that is what will take you ahead in life. Try to enhance your concentration and attention span with suitable exercises.
Q. I am in first year and I feel like love. But I have doubt that its attraction. Because our age difference is 7 year. So please tell me the difference between love and attraction and he is my teacher. He does not know but there is behaviour like he likes me.
Ans. This is certainly not love. Attraction is possible because of your admiration of his qualities since he is older and wiser. Also admiring and appreciating one’s teacher is natural. But thinking romantically about your teacher is not done. You should not entertain such thoughts in your mind. Please respect him and maintain a good distance from him. This is study time and career building is more important than getting attracted to your teacher. Banish all such thoughts or feelings from your mind and get to your books. Make friendships with your peers and classmates and have a good time with them do not get into serious issues such as a love and all that. Be unattached and detached from all such feelings till the real time comes for such issues. Enjoy your studies and your friendships.
Q. I am a reader of your weekly column in the daily newspaper “The Hitavada” by the name of “Emotions” under which readers ask their questions seeking for solutions to their problems described. Everyone has problems in life but no one can find out proper solutions to them. I am a student of Class 11 studying Science with Maths. Up to 8th I studied well but from the 9th standard I started to lack interest in studies. I have the curiosity to learn but I am distracted by thoughts which keep coming randomly along-with the computer and mobile. I am not able to score more than 80% marks in any one the subject excluding English. I am not satisfied with my marks and I don’t know that why I am not able to do the study. But I want to concentrate seriously on my studies and study like the exemplary. I do not take part in any kinds of physical or co-curricular activities. Another thing I wanted to mention is that I have downloaded quite large number of books from Internet and I read those and I have at least knowledge of those. But what I read in books, I doubt whether I have really read or not?? In future, I plan for preparing for JEE. But with this kind of conditions I cannot imagine how will I proceed. Please guide me through this situation of difficulty with your suggestion. And for the act of which I shall ever be grateful to you.
Ans. Do not lose hope about your future, take each day as it comes and you will overcome your academic obstacles. Distraction is understandable but we have to minimise it. When you sit to study, keep your phone off and sit far from your computer. Take short breaks and do jumps or something fun during those 5-minute breaks. Focus on your studies by doing meditation or other mind-relaxing acts. Also, at your age one needs to indulge in some physical activity or sport because it keeps up your energy levels and will boost your concentration. As for the books you have read, no knowledge gets wasted. Reading is a good habit to inculcate. But yes since you need to prepare for your entrance exams please keep your priorities on your studies.